Love is Irrational
by livelovelaugh91
Summary: Sequel for Love is insanity. Five years later things have changed for Eli, Clare, Adam and Eliza but are these changes good or bad when raising children, abuse and crossroads in life come into play? Rated M for sex, language and possible violence.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Degrassi but if I did it would be an hour long...lol.**

**For the people who did not read my previous story "Love is Insanity"... Eliza isn't actually a Degrassi character but in these stories she plays Eli's half sister. =)**

Clare

"Elijah Goldsworthy the second! You get out of that chocolate frosting this instant!"

"But… Uncle Adam said it's good for me."

"Adam Torres… explain?"

"It is good for his soul."

"Yeah and good for him to have a belly ache later too… Plus supper is almost done."

"Fine, little E guess you gotta put the chocolate away."

"Aw rats!"

I couldn't help but laugh as this miniature version of Eli stomped over to the pantry and put to can of chocolate frosting back on the shelf. It was all over his mouth and hands. He was really going crazy on it. I guess I will have to get some more to frost his cake and cupcakes for his party tomorrow… I can't believe my little baby is turning five! Where did the years go? Where did my boyfriend go?

"Eli!"

"What?"

"Come here!"

"Why?"

"Come here!"

"Clare… The movie is almost at the best part."

"Can you go get some more chocolate frosting for the cupcakes for Little E's school…? Adam told Little E to go crazy on the frosting I had."

"Adam I could kick you! Now he'll be up until dawn."

"Tell me about it…"

"Can you go to the store please?"

"Of course darling woman. I'll take little E too… He could use a little store time since you refuse to take him in anymore."

"Eli, he released the lobsters from the tank. He's banned from the Shop and Save a Bunch."

"Well what do you expect? Those lobsters probably looked all trapped… He was doing the world a civil service. Animal rights…"

"Like father like son."

"Adam, Little E… store trip! You guys down?"

"Yaaayyy! I wanna go daddy!"

"Yeah me too!"

"Clare, we shall return."

The apartment got quiet. I put on a pot of coffee and I straightened up while I waited for it to brew. I went into little E's room. Typical, he left his living dead dolls all over the place. Gosh these things are creepy! I hate them but Eli insists on letting the boy have his collection. I say they should all be burned and buried under a cross and a bird bath full of holy water… He got it one day when he went with Eli to the mall. It was supposed to be a simple trip. Eli was going to get some new jeans at Hot Topic… That's when little E saw the living dead doll… The first one was Isaiah…. I nearly had a fit when he bought it home… But he really took a liking to it…. I picked the scary little dolls up and put them on the shelf before making up his messy little bed and tidying up his crayon station.

When I went back into the kitchen the coffee was ready. I poured myself a cup with two creams and two sugars. I sat at the breakfast island and I exhaled for a moment. These solitary moments are few and far between. Sometimes I forget how it feels not to hear the sound of a rowdy kid, or worse to not hear the sound of a rowdy kid, which means I have to go looking for him because he's probably doing something he shouldn't be. I can't complain about life though.

I took the pizza casserole out of the oven. Just as I did Eli, little E and Adam came crashing the door. Eli had a bag full of chocolate frosting and little E had even more chocolate around his mouth. Eli's going to stay up with him when he's tweeking for sugar tonight.

"Somebody got suckered…"

"I didn't… He was very good in the supermarket Clare…"

"Yeah mommy, I was good so daddy let me have a super king sized Hershey bar!"

"Little E… it was healthy though, tell mommy why."

"Mommy it was healthy because it had almonds!"

"Little E, go clean yourself up... And you Goldsworthy… You are in big trouble."

"Oh well shouldn't I be punished? A spanking perhaps?"

"Guys, hello? I'm still here… We are all adults here and you two are still clowning around like a pair of high schoolers."

"Sorry Adam."

"Yeah sorry bro."

"No prob… Just hurry and slice that pizza casserole, it smells awesome."

"Thanks Adam."

Right when we were about to dig into the pizza casserole there was a knock at the door. It was Fiona. She was of course here to see Adam but… she's become a friend of ours in the past years. She was lovely as always.

"Hello all…"

"Fiona! Do you have any more of those little French candies?"

"Little E, it looks like you've been in someone's chocolate stash already but… we'll talk later."

"Okay."

We shared a nice family dinner and then we started the Friday night movie which was The Nightmare before Christmas… Little E picked the movie, I guess you could probably tell that though. He sang along with all the songs and giggled at that parts he thought were funny. It made me smile to hear him laugh.

After Adam and Fiona left little E started to crash down from his sugar rush so I got him bathed and off to bed. As soon as I laid him down though there was a knock at the door. It was so faint that I barely heard it. I went out to see Eliza standing there crying, the right side of her face was red and it looked a little swollen.

"Clare? Can I stay here for the weekend?"

"Sure, what happened?"

"I think we both know."

"Fitz slapped you again?"

"Yeah, I'm so dumb."

"You're not, just leave."

"That would make things simple huh?"

"Come on in."

She told me what happened this time… This has been his normal behavior for the past few months. Things went bad about a year ago when he had a baby with Brenda. Eliza really should leave him before she gets hurt badly but… I can't make her leave. Little E happened to pop his head out the door and he spotted her. He's crazy about her, so he ran quickly.

"Aunt Eliza!"

"Little E!"

"Are you staying the night?"

"Yeah I am…"

"Can you sleep with me?"

"Sure I will."

"Yayy!"

"Little E, why are you out of bed?"

"Mama, Isaiah told me to get out of bed…"

"What?"

"Ha ha ha! Just kidding! I knew you would freak out like dad said."

"Your father is such a jerk."

"Daddy said you'd say that. May I have some water?"

"Sure."

I fixed him a glass of water and sent him back to bed. I talked to Eliza more, not only about her fight with Fitz but about school. We take English together and both our papers are up for publishing which is great. I guess we're just the best or something. Eli came out of the bedroom wearing only pajama pants.

"Gross big bro, cover up…nobody wants to see your body."

"When did you get here? Why are you here?"

"I had an argument with Fitz."

"He hit you again?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you are crazy for staying…"

"Yeah I think I'm crazy too…"

"On a better note Eli and Eliza… Little E's turning five tomorrow."

"I know, I've been a dad for five years."

"I've been an aunt for five years…"

"What are you getting him… Aunt Eliza?"

"The living dead dolls lunch tin with the Living dead in wonderland book."

"Awesome idea… I still haven't gotten him anything yet."

"Eli!"

"What?"

"You know daddy if you can't think of anything you can just give me money!"

"Little E! Why are you up?"

"I can't sleep! I'm too excited!"

"Well, I guess that's a good excuse."

"Eli, you're such a softy… Little E."

"Yes mommy?"

"I need you to go to sleep so that you're not grouchy tomorrow."

"Grrr… okay."

"No growls, but snores."

He trotted back into his bedroom closing the door behind him. Eli, Eliza and I just laughed. He's five going on fifty. Soon we all started to yawn so we all went to bed… Well I went into the bedroom at least. I jumped into the shower and it wasn't any surprise that I felt Eli's arms wrap around me.

"Hey there…"

"Hey there yourself Edwards."

"You know he's still awake right?"

"Well he won't come in this bathroom without knocking."

"You're right. Let's get dirty… er… clean. Whatever."

Eli kissed me passionately while running his fingers through my soaking wet hair. The warm spray of water cascaded down our bodies while he devoured my breasts, running his tongue across my nipples eagerly. I moaned out and in response he kissed my stomach, going lower until he reached my center. He lifted up my leg and tasted me. He hungrily consumed the essence of me as it flooded down from my core. He looked up at me while he flickered his tongue across my pearl, leaving me breathless and making me weak in the knees. I held onto him for support and he gave me that crooked smile I love so much. He stood up and kissed me on the lips gently before raising one of my legs again and gliding his rock hardness inside me. I arched my back in reaction to the sudden spike in every square inch of my body. He pulled me closer to him and he moved smoothly in and out of my eager core. He started hitting the right spot inside me and the pressure started building up in my body, it rose until I hit peak. It was like an explosion ripped through my entire frame leaving me both cold and hot and making me sensitive to touch. Eli was still going because he hadn't cum yet, my core clenched around his hardness sending more shocks through my already astounded body. A few minutes later he reached bliss too and we just stood under the spray of the shower, kissing and holding each other.

"Clare I love you so much."

"I love you too Eli."

"Then marry me? Please? Please?"

"Eli… please let's not talk about this tonight. Please?"

"Okay, but you can't beat around the bush forever."

"Trust me, I know."

We washed and then dried off. I put on my night shirt and he put on his pajama pants. We got into bed and though there was initially tension he cut it by wrapping his arms around me and kissing me on the forehead like he does every night. I went to sleep with my head on his chest…

The next morning Little E crashed into the bedroom. Eliza was behind him trying to reel him in but she failed horribly. Little E jumped on the bed. He was excited for sure, but it is his birthday and that's exciting. How many times do you turn five?

"Mommy! Daddy! Up! It's my birthday!"

"Yes dude, it's your birthday."

"Up daddy! Get up!"

"Fine I'm up!"

"Yeah me too."

We got up. I made pancakes and sausage to calm little E down. Eliza got the decorations and went to go put the finishing touches on Above the Dot, where the party was being held. I can't believe they got Living Dead Dolls party lights. I'm sure Little E will love them. I realized that Eliza took the liberty of frosting the cupcakes little E was taking to school Monday for their Halloween party. Bless her heart.

Eli came back and he had a bag in hand. It was from Hot topic. He motioned for me to follow him so I did. Little E was content with eating so he should be out of trouble for at least five minutes.

"What'd you get? Hopefully not another Living Dead Doll?"

"No… even better! I got him a nightmare before Christmas backpack with miniature action figures and a watch."

"Aww he will love this! Good thinking."

"Now what did you get him again?"

"A starter guitar."

"Show off…"

"What? He said he wanted to learn to play."

"Show off! But I expected it from you Edwards, always going above and beyond."

"Eli you are messed."

"Then we are messed together… You, me and our little messed kid."

"Mommy! Daddy! What are you guys doing in there with the door closed?"

"We're uh… quick Eli.. think of something!"

"We're making you a brother or sister!"

"For my birthday?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh boy! This will be the best present ever!"

I punched Eli in the arm. He grabbed it while complaining around how hard I hit. I can't believe he told him that. Now, if this ever gets out people will be expecting me to pop out another baby in nine months!

When both our presents were wrapped we sat them on the bed and came out of the bathroom. Little E was sitting in front of the television watching some Werewolf movie. He looked like he was in a daze.

"Little E, come on time to get ready for the party."

"Okay mommy."

He ran to me and hugged me. I picked him up and kissed his chubby little cheek. I took him in his room and let him pick out what he wanted to wear. Of course he picked his favorite black long-sleeved shirt and these little black skinny jeans. I swear it's amazing how they make them this tiny. He put them on along with his boots. Eli then came into the room fully dressed as well.

"Look mommy! Me and daddy are twins!"

"I know right… You look alike and now you're dressed alike."

"Kid has great taste."

I put on a pair of black leggings with a white flowy shirt. I put on a black fashion belt and black ballet flats. I threw a few curls in hair and then it was off to Above the Dot where the kids will be crazy… God help us all….

Like I predicted… the kids are crazy! But it's fun to see Little E having so much fun. I think he likes Mindy, KC and Jenna's daughter. She dropped her cupcake and started crying so he gave her his and she kissed him on the cheek. He blushed. It was very…cute. It was almost like a reunion party in this place. Everybody bought gifts for him, most of it monetary, which works just as well…. Mr. Goldsworthy rented an optical illusionist who looked like Cris Angel. The kids were amazed and I will admit it, I was too! Eli liked it but he's too "cool" to admit it….

When things settled down a bit all the kids gathered around while Eli, Adam and Fitz resorted to telling ghost stories. Every once and a while we would hear a frenzy of screams but then everything got silent again. Mean while, I was having girl talk with Alli and Eliza…

"So why won't you marry him then?"

"I don't know Alli!"

"She's afraid Alli!... she's too chicken."

"Ha, I am not chicken. Marriage just isn't something to jump into."

"You're not jumping into it though… marrying the guy my parents promised me to when I was a kid would have been jumping into marriage. You love Eli and he loves you. Plus, do I even have to mention what a beautiful family you, him and little E make?"

"Yeah she's right Clare… you, little E and my brother do look like the perfect little family… with a twist."

"Thanks Eliza and Alli… I see what you guys are saying but I just need more time… Speaking of relationships. Eliza, are you and Fitz on the up and up again?"

"I don't know. Today when Alli and I were decorating he comes in and hands me a single white rose and then kisses me on the cheek."

"It was romantic, I must admit it but Eliza is it worth the beating?"

"Why does everyone call them beatings?"

"Aren't they?"

"No…"

"Wow… We should really have a reality show. Alli how is Sav?"

"He's good. He sent Little E a card… He and Holly J are soaking up the sun in Orlando Florida."

"That sounds delightful."

"Yeah… Little E might like Disney World."

"Family Vacay!"

When the kids' sugar rushes started to come down the parents started taking them home. I handed out party favors at the door while thanking them for coming to the party. Darcy and Peter cleaned up the food while the rest of us cleaned up everything else. Little E was too busy eating mini cupcakes to be impatient. Once everything was done I thanked my pit crew and I got all the gifts. We went home where he opened the presents.

"Mommy now I can play the guitar!"

"You sure can. We will ask your uncle Tommy to give you some lessons when he comes back from the states"

"Awesome!"

He'd opened every gift and liked every gift. He seemed content and that is good. After finding all the new toys and things a home in his room I put him in the tub. He washed and then he got into his pajamas. Tonight there would be no running around because he went to sleep as soon as I laid him down. I closed his room door quietly and then I walked to the living room where Eli was flipping through the channels with a beer in his hand. I sat in his lap and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey sexy lady."

"Hey."

"Today was crazy."'

"Tell me about it."

"I had fun though…"

"Yeah, that optical illusion guy was neat."

"Yeah he was okay."

"Eli…"

"Okay, he was awesome… Only thirteen more years."

"I hope they don't rush by."'

"I hope they don't either… Can you imagine it when Little E is our age?"

"Stop! I'm feeling old already."

"You're as young as you feel."

"I know I know… Homework time tomorrow."

"I finished my homework at work Friday."

"Ughh… well then help me with mine."

"Gladly… for a small fee of course."

"What'd you have in mind?"

"Something like this."

He kissed me passionately before releasing me and giving me that twisted smirk of his. I blushed and caught my breath then we spent the wee hours of Sunday morning finishing up my weekend assignments, though it was boring, Eli made it seem like fun. He's still so awesome.

**Reviews please? Tell me if this story is worth writing and if there is anything you'd like to see I'm open for suggestions.**


	2. Chapter 2

Eliza

He collapsed on my chest as he hit peak. I ran my fingers through his hair as he placed soft kisses on my neck. I love moments like this… Moments where he doesn't hate me or make me cry. I love these moments when he loves me again, even if they only last for a few hours.

He got up and went into the bathroom. I rolled over in the bed and looked out the window. It's raining cats and dogs. Good thing I don't have anywhere to go.

"Eliza?"

"Huh?"

"Brenda's dropping Kelly off to stay the night."

"Okay."

"I promised the guys I would come have a beer with them."

"Are you asking me to babysit?"

"Sort of."

"Okay. Just don't stay out too late."

"Thanks."

A few hours later the doorbell rang. I answered the door and it was Brenda. She was standing on the porch, her and the three other children she has. The rain had stopped luckily. I'd hate to think that all those babies got all wet and cold.

"Where's Fitz?"

"Oh, he's in the bathroom…"

"Iza!"

"Hi Kelly!"

"Don't act like you know my child."

"I do know your child Brenda. She knows me too and you have to admit that when she comes back to you she's always cleaner, wearing clean clothes and fed."

"You think you're a better mother than me?"

"I never said that."

"Fine… Fucking prove it. Brat's yours because I got enough damn problems without her crying all the time and asking for her daddy and "Iza"… So just take her."

"Brenda you can.."

"Take her! I don't want her back so don't worry about returning her Sunday."

She practically threw Kelly at me. I chased after her but by the time I could put Kelly in the house and run down the walk way she was already taking off. Kelly followed me outside crying. The rain had picked up again and we got soaked. I ran into the house and yelled for Fitz.

"Mark!"

"What? You never call me Mark…"

"We have a problem."

"What is it?"

"Please come out here?"

Kelly was still upset and crying. I was attempting to change her out of the wet clothes but my nerves were shot and I couldn't keep anything in my hands. Fitz came into the living room wearing only a towel around his waist.

"What happened to you two?"

"Brenda's lost it."

"What do you mean?"

"She…She said she didn't want me dealing with Kelly and I pointed out that I was always good to Kelly and she took that as me attacking her parenting skills so she told us to keep Kelly and not to return her."

"What!"

"Yeah…"

"This is fucking nuts. I'm gonna talk to her."

He got dressed and got on the phone with Brenda. They argued and cursed and he threatened to go over there. Meanwhile I was too busy trying to comfort Kelly. She was still upset. I realized that I hadn't even changed into any dry clothes. I might be the one catching a cold.

I put Kelly in the room with Fitz and changed into a dry terry cloth jumpsuit. It was warm and comfortable. I went and picked up Kelly again. I figured she would do some good from a feeding. I fixed her chicken nuggets and a few banana slices with milk in her cuppy.

She cheered up a bit once the food hit her tummy. Then she was ready for a nap so I took her in my arms and rocked her to sleep, laying her on the couch to snooze. Fitz was pissed even though there hadn't been anything talking for a few minutes. He started putting on his boots and he left. I didn't try to stop him. Almost instantly after he left there was a knock at the door. I looked out and I saw Little E standing there with Clare.

"Hi guys."

"Hi Aunt Eliza!"  
"Hey hun. You and Fitz have a fight?"

"No, not today… Brenda kind of gave Kelly to us like forever."

"What?"

"Yeah… He's gone to try and talk some sense into her; at least I hope they are only talking."

"Where is she?"

"On the couch sleeping. She was really upset. I guess the yelling and bad vibes freaked her out."

"Poor baby."

"Aunt Eliza, so are you Kelly's new mommy?"  
"I don't know little E…"  
"Oh, because I think you should be her new mommy if she doesn't have one."

"Thanks for your faith in my skills."

"You're welcomed."

I chuckled at little E's observation and then Clare and I talked. Right in the middle of a sentence though she just broke down crying. I tried to comfort her because she couldn't even speak due to her overpowering sobs. Once she finally stopped she told me what was wrong.

"We had a really big fight this morning Eliza. Little E was at Darcy's because he spent the night and things were good with Eli and me until he… he bought up marriage again and I said something I shouldn't have…. I told him that I don't think I'll ever marry him. Things just blew up from there. He got really mad and knocked some mirrors off the wall because as he was leaving he just slammed the door! I couldn't stand to be there so I picked up little E and came here…"

"Clare… I don't know what to say."

"That's okay; I just needed to let it out. I tried to call him and he won't take my calls. I wish I'd never said that."

"Did you mean it?"

"No… I didn't. One day I would like the marry Eli but I'm scared Eliza. I'm so scared."

"Scared of what Mommy? Is daddy really mad at you? He loves you…"

"Little E, you were listening?"

"Is he mad at me too?"

"No baby… Daddy and I just have grown up problems."

"Doesn't he still love you?"

"Yes."

"You love him too?"

"Yes…"

Listening to Little E I realized something…. If Brenda does leave Kelly then that means Kelly and I have something in common. I sometimes still feel empty inside from the void Vanessa left in me by leaving me… Luckily Kelly is only one, so the damage won't be that great but what happens when she's older and she wonders why she has a stepmom not her real mom….

Clare convinced Little E that she and Eli didn't hate each. He still seemed a bit upset but he was somewhat convinced. Fitz walked through the door nearly soaked. He kicked off his boots and went to the bedroom. He still looked pissed. I told Clare I'd be right back and I went to check on him.

"Well?"

"She won't take Kelly back… She said she's been feeling under too much pressure for a while with all the kids she has… She's giving two of them up for adoption and the first kid she's giving it to her baby's father's mom… She says she's tired of being needed and tired of…"

Fitz started crying… I've only seen him that vulnerable and emotionally fragile a few times before. I caressed his back to try and comfort him. He latched onto me and hugged me, burying his face in my stomach.

"You can't leave me… I don't know how to raise a little girl, how to raise a kid."

"I'm not leaving."

"Why not? I've been horrible to you and now you have to put up with a baby that isn't yours."

"That's all true but… Look I love you Fitz and we can get through this together."

"Thanks… Oh and if you tell anyone I cried…"

"I know… I'm dead meat."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He changed and went back out into the living room where Kelly was now awake and playing with Little E, who seemed somewhat annoyed. Fitz picked up the playful one year old and kissed her cheek. She giggled and laid her head on his chest. I went back into the kitchen with Clare who was still trying to call Eli. He was sending her straight to voicemail and she started crying again.

"I just… wish he would talk to me. I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like I'm losing it all again!"

"Clare, it's going to be okay, you want me to call from my phone?"

"Please?"

I dialed Eli's number and it rang three times before he picked up. It sounded like he was crying. There was loud music in the background and the sound of breaking glass? Where is he at and what is he doing?"

"Eliza I know you are calling on Clare's behalf. I don't want to talk to her right now."

"Eli look, she wants to apologize she says she didn't mean it."

"Just… look since you are playing middle man you can meet me at the Dot but don't bring Clare… Have her tell you what she wants to say."

"Fine."

I told Clare the plan and she wrote everything she wanted to say in a letter then she went into the living room and held little E in her arms. She rocked him to sleep even though he argued with her that he wasn't sleepy. I guess the mother's touch can make even the rowdiest kids drowsy.

I went to the dot and saw the hearse outside. I entered and there my brother sat looking like hell with a latte in his hands. I couldn't tell if he's been drinking or not but I know for sure that he'd been shedding some tears...Possibly even crying a river.

"Clare says…"

"Let me go first. She said she would never marry me and I don't know why. What's so bad about me? Things have been good so far and its normal that I would want to make her my wife right? She just… she won't tell me why she won't commit. I asked her why and I tried to understand but all she ever says is just because and I'm going fucking nuts!"

"Wow… well Clare says… she didn't mean what she said about never marrying you. She loves you and she wants to spend forever with you but she's scared that if you two get married you will end up divorced like her parents…. I think you two need to talk so… you should come to my place and talk to her."

"Fine middle man…"

We went back to my place and Clare was still crying but she attempted to dry her tears when she saw Eli. They looked at each other for a few seconds and then she walked to him… He pulled her into a hug.

"Why didn't you tell me you were scared?"

"I don't know… I didn't mean what I said. I do want to marry you I just… What if we?"

"We won't Clare… But if we do it won't be for the same reasons as them okay?"

"Okay."

"Daddy!"

"Little E!"

"You still love mommy right? She was all upset..."

"Yeah very much."

"And me too?"

"Of course dude."

"What a happy ending…"

The little family who could went back to their place and I went into the living room where Fitz was watching Kelly roll around on the floor. I was about to sit down on the couch and Fitz motioned for me to come to him. I did and he pulled me onto his lap and kissed my cheek.

"Emo boy and St. Clare back on the up and up?"

"Yeah… Fitz?"

"Huh?"

"I'm late…again."

"How late?"

"Few weeks."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"We've been too busy fighting."

"Oh… What if you are?"

"I wanna keep it."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay…"

We didn't say anything else. We just watched Kelly play until she got hungry again. I fed her and bathed her then I sent her to bed. The night was nearly silent and there was no tension…just silence.

**Reviews please peepz! Love ya! =)**


	3. Chapter 3

Eli

This kid is so evil. I don't know what has gotten into him today! Lucky for me Clare is going to be home tonight, but I don't know if I will live until then. For some reason little E has lost his fucking mind. He refuses to put on clothes so he's running around, ass out naked with only boots on!

"Boy! Get back here!"

"No! You can't make me! I'll never wear clothes! I'll never go to bed!"

"Little E my patience is worn thin, now get over here and get dressed now!"

"No! Mmmmm! Noo! I hate you!"

He kicked me in my shin and ran. I tried chasing him but I was too tired and now I was injured. He's only five but he kicks like a fully grown man. I finally decided to give up. I limped over to the couch and sat there. Man, he's lucky he's not me. When I acted up I got a belt to my ass. Let me tell you, it hurt, and after that you didn't even want to act up again.

There was a knock at the door. Oh, its guys night. Adam and Fitz came in the apartment. Fitz had Kelly in hand. She was sleeping luckily. At least one kid knows how to act right. They put the beers in the fridge and the gore fest commenced, until Little E came out from whatever space he was hiding in.

"Yeeaaaaahhhh the wind is blowing through my naaaaarrrrddddssss!"

After he made that little display he went back to hiding wherever he was hiding. Fitz and Adam were laughing so hard tears were coming from their eyes. I couldn't laugh, I'm sick of seeing his little naked ass wagging around…. That's it! I'm dropping him back off at the hospital; they can take him back… Clare would kill me though.

"Dude, parenting gone wrong?"

"Ha ha Adam, this kid is possessed. He won't put on clothes or bathe so he's been running around all funky and naked for a day and a half… I'll be so glad when Clare gets home. I'm going to kiss her feet."

"Yeah, I'll be glad when Eliza gets home too. Kelly has a diaper rash. I don't know how it got there; I don't know what to do for it. I put gold bond medicated powder on it and then I found out that you're not supposed to because it's too harsh for babies. I'm totally lost without Eliza, she's the mommy figure."

"Well… Lucky for me I'm childless… but I feel you guys pain. Eli, shall we try and talk to Little E?"

"Try all you want. That little devil baby won't listen."

Adam went to try and talk to little E. The next thing I heard was Adam yell out. Then he came out of the crevice limping and with his face in a scowl. I had my first laugh of the day. I wish he'd listened to me and he could have saved himself a world of trouble.

"That child needs an exorcism."

"Told you so."

"When are the girls getting back?"

As if on cue Clare came waltzing through the door. She looked refreshed and renewed. I fell to my knees and hugged her legs. She smiled, but she also looked shocked and confused. I held on tight until she nearly lost her balance.

"Clare he's gone crazy!"

"Who?"

"Your demon baby of a son!"

"Why?"

"I don't know. Ask him! He's been naked for a day and a half. He didn't sleep last night so neither did I. He won't bathe, he kicked me and Adam in the shins and… Clare please do what you do to make him behave."

"See this is what you get. You didn't want to establish dominance and you befriend him now he's waged war on you."

"Clare please!"

"Okay okay… Little E!"

"No!"

"Elijah Goldsworthy the second, you get out here front and center or else I will burn all your living dead dolls at the stake, and there will be no resurrection for them!"

"Yes mommy…"

Clare laughed when he saw his current wardrobe. He was still naked with boots on, but he threw on a batman mask for good measure I guess. After a little chuckle Clare put her serious face on again.

"Why have you been giving daddy a hard time?"

"It's fun!"

"Well, daddy could say it's fun to take all your stuff."

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh! But that isn't the only reason to behave and obey him; he's your parent to."

"But you're the boss mama."

"Somewhat little E, but daddy is the boss too so you need to respect him…Now apologize."

"Sorry daddy…"

"Apology accepted."

"Now, there will be a punishment little E. You are not allowed to watch TV for a week."

He started crying. I will admit that I did feel bad for him now. That is a rough punishment sheesh. Clare doesn't play, but I guess that is how you get things done… Still an entire week without TV…

Clare got him bathed and put to bed. She made it look so easy. After all that she told me to enjoy the rest of my guy's night. Adam and I iced our shins. Damn that really hurt. Little E should go out for soccer or something.

After the movies ended Adam gathered his icepack and Fitz gathered up Kelly, who was still sleeping through all this madness. Soon it was only Clare and I… which is the way I like it. I went into the bathroom where she was just stepping into the shower. I stepped in behind her.

"Clare teach me your ways."

"Grasshopper the first lesson is this… Stop being such a pushover."

"But when you look at him how can you not want to spoil him."

"There's a difference between spoiling him and ruining him…"

"Guess you're right."

"Since you have to learn how to not give him his way, you can be in charge of making sure he doesn't watch TV."

"Awww man… okay. How was the spa retreat?"

"Awesome… Fiona was so nice to fly all of us out there and pay for it. I feel so refreshed."

"That's great…"

"I have some exciting news for you."

"What?"

"You're going to be an uncle."

"You sure?"

"Yes… Eliza is pregnant. I noticed it when we were in the sauna and her baby bump was very prominent, belly button and all. Then I asked her and she told me that she and Fitz were expecting."

"Bet my dad doesn't know."

"Bet he doesn't either."

"I want to be there when she tells him that breaking story."

"Oh Eli..."

We simply showered, though sex would have been good we were both tired and I just really wanted to hold her tight. So I did when we went to bed. I told her about Little E's complete charade up until he came out and swung his junk around saying that the wind was blowing through his nards. She laughed, but then again I guess it is kind of funny.

**Hey guys please be nice and leave a review to tell me how I'm doing. Thanks a bunch love ya =)**


	4. Chapter 4

Eliza

I felt the little flutter and my heart skipped a beat. I went into the bedroom to tell Fitz. He only had a towel wrapped around his waist. My hormones went crazy at that moment. I know there's not a chance in hell though… He's already complained about being tired and I think he has a new plaything. I can't prove anything but I feel it.

"The baby just fluttered."

"Okay."

"Aren't you happy?"

"Eliza it's not like some miraculous thing. It's just a flutter."

"It's miraculous to me… I want you to be happy with me."

"Well I'm not. I'm not ready for kids right now."

"That makes no sense, you already have a child."

"Yeah and before a month ago I only saw her on the weekends or whenever I went over Brenda's…."

At that moment Kelly started crying. I went to check on her. When I got into the room we cleared out for her she was standing up in her crib reaching for me. She has Fitz's eyes. I picked her up and hugged her while I patted her back to comfort her. She just wanted a little attention that's all. I'd probably cry too if I woke up in a dark room trapped in some cage.

"Come on Kelly. Want to sleep with me and Daddy?"

"Iza!"

"Yeah…"

I took her into the bedroom and sat her on the bed. She crawled under the covers and snuggled up to Fitz. He looked down at her and then back at me. He wasn't happy about this I can tell.

"What's she doing in here?"

"She's scared in there. The night light must be broken or something."

"She can't sleep in here."

"Why?"

"Because Eliza… There's barely enough room for you and me."

"It's a king sized bed Fitz."

"Yeah and your fat ass takes up half of it."

"I'm not fat!"

"Whatever… I'll sleep on the couch."

"Wait… Why are you being so mean to me? To us?"

"Goodnight Eliza."

He went into the living room and it was just me and Kelly. She didn't seem to mind in fact she was smiling and happy. I turned to a cartoon and she watched it until she went to sleep. I went to sleep soon after. At least I have chemistry tomorrow... Being in the same room with Clare, Wesley and Adam is a guaranteed bucket of laughs.

The next morning I woke up and went to the toilet. I vomited like every morning and then I brushed my teeth and nibbled on a few crackers. I jumped in the showers and let the hot water melt away my stress, anger and sorrow. I decided on a simple pair of jeans with a black pullover hoodie and my favorite boots… I've had them since high school but I can't part with them, plus they still look sexy.

I went into the bedroom and got Kelly who was still sleeping. I took her into her room and found her a warm outfit. I put her on these adorable pink jeans with a pink fleece pullover and some little pink snow boots. I put her hair into a ponytail with a pink bow to complete the look. I fed her and grabbed a cup of coffee for myself. I don't have time to eat anymore. I woke Fitz up.

"Fitz…"

"Hmmm."

"Wake up, time to get ready for work."

"What time is it?"

"Seven thirty."

"Fuck! I'm going to be late! What the fuck is wrong with you? Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

"I'm sorry… I forgot because I was getting the baby dressed and feeding her."

"Move out of the way."

No proper goodbye then. I tried to shake off the bad mood that was creeping up on me but I couldn't. I dropped Kelly off at Ms. Fitzgerald's house. She watches her through the day, and for free…but I guess that is a grandparent thing. I waved goodbye to them both and then went to school. I made it there just in time before the professor shut and locked the doors. I went and sat with my lab partners Adam, Clare and Wesley.

"Hi guys."

"Hey. Uh oh, what's the matter?"

"I think we all know… Adam and Wesley, you're guys so tell me… If a guy is mean to you does that mean he doesn't want to be with you?"

"That was a stupid question."

"Thanks, not, Adam geez."

"What Adam meant to say is that guys usually don't want to be mean to girls they like but if they are then it could be because there is someone else or he could simply be bored with you."

"Oh okay. Thanks Wesley."

Clare told me about Little E making her and Eli take him to see the new Disney cartoon last night. They just sounded so happy. I want what they have; I want to be happy with Fitz. I want us to communicate and be nice to each other… Well no, I'm always nice to him he just doesn't return it.

The day went quickly and before I knew it I was picking Kelly up along with some Chinese food for dinner. Fitz was hanging up his hard hat and kicking off his boots when we came through the door. He didn't greet us.

"Say hi daddy."

"Hi da-da!"

"Oh...Hey."

"How was work?"

"It was work…"

"Oh. Well I was thinking we never go out. We should take Kelly to see the princesses on ice show."

"Who's going to pay for it?"

"I will…"

"Nah, I don't want to."

"It's for her…You know she loves Princess Aurora."

"Whatever."

"Whatever… I'm so sick of this Fitz! Why are you so mean to me? At first I thought it was because of Brenda but now… what did I do?"

"Nothing! You didn't do anything Eliza! I'm just bored! I'm tired! I want to be left alone and you're just here and now you're fucking pregnant! God sometimes I wish you'd cheated too so that the baby wouldn't be mine and I wouldn't have to deal with you two for life!...Wait I didn't mean that…"

"It's over."

"What?"

"I'm tired of you treating me this way…"

"Let's talk…"

"No!"

I sat Kelly in her play pin and went into the bedroom finding all the clothes I needed. I put them into my suitcases and packed myself up. Tears were streaming down my face and making my vision blurry. He tried stopping me again but there was no use…

I kissed Kelly goodbye. I tossed my luggage into the car and got in myself. I tried to dry my tears before I got on the road but there was no use, I couldn't stop crying. I drove to the one place I knew I wouldn't be a burden…

"Baby doll, what a surprise… What's the matter?"

"Fitz and I broke up… Can I move back home?"

"Sure, you know your old room is always available."

"Thanks dad."

He and my brother Tommy helped me bring my things into my room. It was just liked I'd left it. All it needed was clothes. I restocked my closet and then I curled up on the bed crying. I can't believe I…. Fitz and I… We're not… I can't even say it to myself. The baby fluttered again… It made me happy but I wasn't in the mood to smile… Or tell my dad that I'm pregnant.

When I calmed down a bit I decided to go to Alli and Bianca's boutique. I need some fun in my life. I also need some new shirts. I hopped in my car and went the little shop. It had a few customers inside. Alli and Bianca were in the middle of an argument. Nothing is new about that. They always argue, but they are friends. I heard that they once hated each other over Adam's brother and now they are the best of friends. That's how friendships are born…Fights over guys.

"Well hey there! Look who finally came to visit."

"I know it's been a while Bianca."

"A while, like two weeks."

"Sorry Alli, I've had a lot on my plate."

"Well you've got a lot less now… Fitz told me you dumped him. He asked me to try and talk you into coming back but I told him I wouldn't…"

"Yeah…. Please don't mention that… it happened only a few hours ago. I still want to die."

"Well don't die. So is it true? If so why weren't we informed?"

"I'm having a baby… And I didn't really tell anyone except him. Clare found out because she's observant and I had to come clean."

"Okay, you're off the hook then. Alli, find her something sexy, we are hitting the town after closing. Drinks on me."

"She can't drink bimbo, she's pregnant."

"Well then virgin drinks."

"Uggg, Eliza I have the perfect outfit for you."

She pulled out a pair of skinny jeans, a black off the shoulder sweater and a pair of black booties with a low heel. It looked nice; I will admit it and I felt pretty. My hair was a bit poufy today so I let it be the afro it'd been begging to be and I looked pretty.

They closed shop and then it was across the street to this little bar and grille. I was more focused on the grille part… I'm starving! Once inside they seated us and Bianca started buying drinks. In honor of me though, neither of them got alcoholic drinks. It was only virgins…

I got some kind of chicken and rice meal. It was delicious and I couldn't believe I was that hungry. I gobbled it up. After the food came the fun. They pulled me onto the dance floor and I shook my tail feather. I haven't felt this free in months… damn near a year. I danced with a cute guy and he even asked for my number. I wasn't comfortable with that so he gave me his… I put it in my wallet for future reference…

When the two party girls and I had enough of the music and strobe lights they walked me to my car. They were of course bickering but it was funny. I told them both goodbye and thanks for the fun night then it was back home... For a moment I forgot that I was going back to my dad's house and not me and Fitz's house. Well technically it's his house but he asked me to move in the moment he signed the paperwork. I helped paint the walls and I decorated it. I helped make that house… It was supposed to be there when we started a family.

I got sad again as I pulled into the driveway at my father's. My dad was asleep, Tommy was awake though. I didn't make it upstairs without him interrogating me about the reason why me and Fitz broke up. I can talk to him too; he's always been cool about stuff like this.

"So he really said he wish you'd cheated so the baby wouldn't be his?"

"Yes…"

"That is fucking cold… Trust me little sis, he meant what he said, he just didn't mean for you to hear it."

"I know…"

"And you're pregnant…"

"Yeah."

"When are you telling dad?"

"I don't know."

"I'd do it sooner than later."

"Yes wise one."

"Go to bed, you've got school in the morning."

I went to my bedroom and fell face first into the bed. A shower can wait until morning right now sleep is calling my name and wooing me… When I woke up the next morning I hopped into the shower. I put on a gray dress that stopped above my knees, with a pair of black leggings and boots that came to my knee. I went downstairs and Tommy was flipping pancakes. My dad was sitting at the table reading the paper. I greeted them both… today will be the day that I tell my dad I'm pregnant. I'll make meatloaf; he's pretty lax when he's eating meatloaf.

I ate a pancake and then it was to school I went. I saw that my English class had been cancelled. I wasn't expecting that. I went to the food court where I saw Clare drinking coffee and reading a paper. I went and sat beside her. She looked tired.

"Hey Clare."

"What the hell is going on?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Fitz coming to our place at three thirty this morning banging on the door, demanding to see you. Eli was at work so it was just me and Little E, it was fucking scary Eliza and even when I told him you weren't here he insisted on coming in and checking the place out."

"Clare I'm so sorry… I broke up with Fitz. I… didn't know he'd come to you and Eli's place. I moved back in with my dad."

"No harm done… It wasn't your fault; I just had to calm down a scared, angry five year old. It took forever and I'm a bit tired. What happened?"

"He said he wished I'd cheated so that this baby wouldn't be his and he could be done with the lot of us."

"What a jerk! Does your dad know?"

"No… I'm telling him tonight. Hope I don't get grounded. Hey, you guys should come over. I'm making meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

"Thanks, we will take you up on that because well… I don't feel like cooking."

Clare started telling me about her night and then out of nowhere Eli and Adam appeared. It was strange; I didn't even see them walk up. Wait, shouldn't Eli be in class right now? Knowing my brother he talked the professor into putting the lecture online and letting everyone go.

"Eliza, what the hell is with your boyfriend?"

"I didn't know he'd come to your place last ni…"

"He came to our place? He came to my job, demanded to be let back and asked me where you were. I told him I didn't know… He was acting like a fucking drug addict. Is he on crack? I haven't seen him that messed up and boggle minded before."

"We broke up."

"Oh… back at dad's huh? Does he know you'll be bringing a bundle a screaming, yelling, pooping joy into the world?"

"No…but I'm sure you'll be listening with your eyes wide open when I tell him tonight at dinner. I invited you guys."

"Awesome. I could use the entertainment."

The day went quick and before I knew it I was taking the meatloaf out of the oven. I let a sit for a few minutes before I put it on the table. Everyone dug in. My dad included… Eli was having the time of his life with this.

"Dad you know lately I've been dreaming of fish."

"You don't say Eli….Maybe Clare is pregnant again."

"No… Not Clare I'm afraid."

"Well…okay."

"Hey Eliza…haven't you been dreaming of fish?"

"No."

"I think you have."

"Shut up!"

"Enough of this damn code what the hell is going on?"

"Dad… I'm pregnant."

"Fitz?"

"Yeah."

"Figured that much… Well you know you have a place here and if need be the baby can have Eli's room."

"My room?"

"You have an apartment Eli!"

"But..."

"No buts."

That was easier than I thought. Now I just have to focus on making the rest of this pregnancy healthy and I have to get over Fitz and realize that he doesn't love me.

Fitz

I wish I'd never said that to her. I didn't mean it… I just said it without thinking about what I was saying. I don't know why I treat her as bad as I do most of the time… I can see how she's tired of it. I just wish… I wish I could talk to her. I know she won't pick up the phone so I haven't even tried. Bianca won't help…she says I've abused Eliza too much to deserve another chance. Eli and Clare claimed they didn't know her where abouts but… I know they do. I don't guess I would tell me anything either. I've been an ass. Kelly cried on the floor. She cried when I picked her up. She's just crying.

"Iza!"

"Well Eliza isn't here Kelly!"

"Iza! Waaaahhh!"

I just let her cry. Eliza isn't here and she's never coming back. I can't say I blame her… It's only been one day but it feels like a million years. It's almost as if she's been kidnapped and I've been looking for her years…decades.

God I just never should have said that… I dropped Kelly off at my mom's and I went to Mr. Goldsworthy's house. Something I was too cautious to do last night. I saw Eliza's car in the driveway. She's here… I knocked on the door and Little E answered.

"Hey little guy."

"Hey Uncle Fitz."

"Your aunt here?"

"Yeah… but I don't think she wants to see you."

"Oh she doesn't?"

"I would come back with flowers and candy."

"Maybe next time… Can I come in?"

"Hold on… Grampy! Can Fitz come in?"

Tommy came to the door and stepped out onto the porch closing the door behind him. The look on his face was serious. Well, this is no joking matter. I asked again to see Eliza…

"Man look… she's trying to get over you and she's focusing on being a good mom. She wants the baby and you don't… Do you honestly think you two will get along?"

"Yes….. I fucked up I get that I just need to talk to her, I need to see her. Please?"

"Fine… Don't move."

He went into the house and the next time the door opened it was Eliza. She stepped out onto the porch and looked down.

"Eliza?"

"What?"

"Why won't you look at me?"

"Don't know."

"Well look at me."

"Why?"

"I don't know just… Look at me the way you used to… The way you did the other day… Like you love me."

"Why? You never look at me that way, or talk to me that way… You never tell me I'm pretty and when we have sex you never take the time to make me feel special. You told me you'd rather me cheat so you can free yourself… than let me have your baby."

"I didn't mean it!"

"Then why did you say that Fitz! You had to mean it!"

"I'm sorry… I… I didn't come here to ask you to come back I just wanted to apologize to you and look into your big brown eyes one more time. You'll be a great mom."

"Fitz…"

"I've never been any good Eliza, no good for you… no good for anybody. God help Kelly with a dad like me. Take care of yourself. I will send money to help out with the baby."

She stood on the porch looking confused and hurt. She broke up with me, yeah… And I came here with every intention of winning her back but I know things won't change. Tommy was right. I don't want the baby and I will lash out, like I've been doing. I'm a bad seed, I'm a bad guy and even the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful girl in the world… couldn't change that. Like I said, god help Kelly with a father like me. She'll be raising herself practically.

**Hey people, please leave a review. That would be much appreciated. =) Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

Adam

Dinner with my family is still a strained event. My mother tries to come off as Martha Stewart or somebody…. Especially when Fiona is with me. Tonight she's really putting on the Ritz. The crazy thing is that she doesn't even particularly care for Fiona…

"So Fiona, how is your interior design business going?"

"Very well Mrs. Torres, thank you for asking."

"It's not a very steady profession is it?"

"Actually in New York it is."

"So, what will you do when you and Adam want to get married? You can't have a marriage living in two different countries. Gosh same sex marriage isn't even legal in America yet…"

"Well, if need be we will get married here. Adam and I have talked this out. He'll move to New York with me… There is a great specialist for the surgeries."

"Surgeries? What… Adam?"

"Mom."

"What's she talking about?"

"I've been looking into gender reassignment surgery and the Coynes insisted they pay."

"You didn't talk to us about this."

"Didn't think I need to. Dad, Drew would you be bothered if I finally got what I wanted?"

"No bro, I wish you all the best."

"Son, whatever makes you happy, I support you."

"What! This is crazy! This is a huge process and once you've changed you can't go back!"

"Mom! You don't get it! I'm not a girl! I've never been because this is how I was born; it's not some phase I'm going through!"

"God fine if you want to be put on display and judged even more you go right ahead but don't come crying to me when the world and even Fiona turns their back on you."

"All due respect Mrs. Torres, Adam is trying to be happy so you should support him. FYI, I would never leave Adam that way. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Mom, Dad, Drew… Nice having dinner with you but Fiona and I are leaving."

We left my parents house and went to Fiona's loft. She was leaving for New York tomorrow. I miss her so much when she's gone but she has to go and make a name other than the one her family gave her. I sat down on the couch and Fiona sat down close to me.

"Don't let her stress you out Adam, she's just… She just can't comprehend."

"It's been almost ten years Fiona… If she doesn't understand now, she won't ever."

"Maybe you are right… But you should still chase after your joy Adam."

"You are awesome Fiona."

"I know."

She kissed me and my entire world lit up. Her lips tasted sweet, like lip gloss. When she broke the kiss we just looked each other in the eyes. She smiled at me and then got up from the couch.

"Well, I have to go pack… Duty calls. Hey you still have your key right?"

"Yeah."

"Feel free to stay here when I'm gone… When I'm here… You could move your stuff in…"

"Fiona Coyne, are you asking to shack up with me?"

"Yeah…"

"Well… how could I refuse then?"

"Great. The door man knows you and stuff. Um oh yeah…feel free to host guys night. Three weeks will be way too long"

"Tell me about it."

Eli

"Daddy…"

"Little E, why are you whispering?"

"I gotta talk to you about something."

"What's up?"

"Something is wrong with my wee wee, I think it's sick!"

"What's um going on?"

"It feels funny! It's swollen!"

"Ha, Little E… well um...It's natural, you will stop doing that in a minute just don't touch it."

The things you have to put up with as a dad. That was funny though. I laughed so hard that Clare came out of the bathroom to investigate.

"What's so funny?"

"Little E had a boner."

"Aww poor thing."

"He said something was wrong with his wee wee."

"What'd ya tell him?"

"I told him it was natural, not to touch it and it would leave in a minute."

"Eli we are on a real adventure."

"Tell me about it."

"You hanging out with me tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Great… Hey, I think Wesley is crushing on your sister…"

"He's too nice. Eliza probably won't go for him."

"But on the contrary, she's having a baby and she wants nice… So I say he has a chance."

"He still wants a chance?"

"Yeah but… She and Fitz haven't been over for that long."

"Yeah, just tell Wes to cool his jets."

I can't get over it… My kid had a boner. Is it so wrong to laugh? Clare and I went to bed, I held her like I do every night. That will never ever ever get old.

Clare

I had a few hours before I had to pick up little E and class let out early today. I waited until Eliza got out of class too and then I dragged her to the bridal shop with me. When we arrived I started looking through dresses in my size.

"So you changed your mind?"

"Well… I've been talking to my mom and my dad…"

"For real? How's it going?"

"They told me honestly why things didn't work for them… They got married because they had to. They didn't get to know each other first. Turns out they didn't wait until they got married either… They were pregnant with Darcy and my grandparents made them have a shot gun wedding. They never got to get truly acquainted."

"Well you and Eli know each other that's for sure. You even finish each other's sentences sometimes… Sickening."

"Shush it… My mom and dad told me how far apart they were from day one and I knew Eli and I were nothing like that. Their parents made them get married… Eli and I get to choose. I think I just needed that. Now I'm ready."

"Yay! Clare Goldsworthy."

"If Eli will have me, I've just hurt his feelings so many times by saying no…. Now help me look for a dress."

I tried on a million black cocktail dresses until I finally found one that fit me and made me feel pretty. I got that with a pair of pretty silver pumps. I also stopped by the jewelry shop and got the engagement ring for Eli. Yeah that's right… I'm popping the question.

Eliza picked up little E from school. She was babysitting tonight. I went home to find Eli taking a nap on the bed. I let him sleep for an hour and then I woke him up with a kiss on the cheek and a tickle to his ear. He groaned and smacked me on the butt.

"Birthday boy. Get up…. I'm taking you out tonight."

"Why didn't you say so?"

He got up and went into the shower. I picked out his outfit. Jeans, with a gray button down shirt and a black vest. Gosh, I've been with him so long that I know his style. He came out and thanked me for picking out his clothes and ironing them. He got dressed and then it was my turn. I showered and then put on lotion to make every part of my baby smooth. I slipped on the sexy dress and pumps then I managed to pin my hair up in an elegant bun. When I emerged Eli looked stunned.

"Ms. Edwards… Might I say you look raaaaavishing?"

"Thanks Mr. Goldsworthy, you look nice as well. Shall we?"

"We shall… so where we going?"

"Wait and see, oh by the way I'm driving."

"You sure you can handle Morty?"

"Eli please…"

"Okay…"

I got behind the wheel and took Eli to this little restaurant café where the live music was great, the food tasted good and the lattes were to die for. He seemed to be having a good time though I will say he was embarrassed when the entire staff came out and sang happy birthday to him. He blushed and looked at me. I could tell I was in trouble but… I guess I don't care.

"Eli… I love you so much."

"I love you too Clare. Mother of my son… Beautiful intelligent girl who I watched turn into a beautiful intelligent woman."

"Stop, you're making this hard."

"What?"

"Eli, I love you and you've asked me to marry you several times now. I couldn't say yes before because I was scared, but I talk to my parents and saw that their reasons for failure could never be ours. So now Elijah Goldsworthy, marry me? Share your last name with me and don't let me down?"

"Clare… Of course I will marry you… But… under one condition. Clare Edwards, will you be my wife?"

We pulled out our rings at the same time. He got up off bending knee and he slipped the solitaire diamond ruing onto my finger while I put the ring I bought onto his. Everyone in the restaurant applauded and congratulated us. Eli kissed me, lifting me off the ground while he done so. When we got back to our apartment we made love until the sun peaked through the blinds of our bedroom. I love this man…

The next day we both decided to play hooky. We spent the entire day in bed making promises to love each other forever. We cuddled and talked. The ring on my left hand ring finger felt bonding. It said to me that I was his, and he was mine… All I could do was look at this beautiful man and think of how lucky I am.

"Clare what's with the googley eyes?"

"You Mr. Goldsworthy. I just… Remember when we broke up?"

"You mean after Fitz tried to murder me?"

"Yeah…"

"Yeah I remember what about it?"

"That was the only time we have ever broken up."

"Because we never fight…well until a while ago, but that was only one fight."

"I think I know why."

"Why…"

"You are so sarcastic that all fights with us turn into playful bickering."

"You're welcomed… You remember the first time I went down on you? You were all bashful."

"We both had that dream! What was I supposed to think and feel?"

"St. Clare I don't know."

"Ugghh, I've been out of high school for two years and people still call me that."

"Clare it's because you're still a saint."

"I can be bad."

"Well then, you'll have to get a spanking."

"Oh now I'm definitely misbehaving."

I grabbed kicked the sheets off Eli so that he was uncovered and naked. He eyed me evilly before smacking me on the butt and pulling me closer to him. Even still being this close to him takes my breath away in the most magnificent way.

"Eli?"

"What?"

"When we're done with college… Do you think you'll want more kids?"

"Clare, you know better than that. I want at least ten."

"Dream big if you'd like."

"Why? You in the club again?"

"No… I was just wondering about it."

"It's going to be great. I'll start my comic book/ record store… Which I have been saving for and you will be the next Stephanie Meyer. We will have a million kids and live to see hovering cars and robot taxi cab drivers."

"Some imagination you have there… but I hope we do all of that and more."

We were so wrapped up in each other that we didn't notice time slipping away. We didn't hear the front door opening either. So when little E busted through the door it was a real um… shock. Eliza tried to stop him but, it was too late. She covered her eyes and walked away before she could see much… But Little E, well he had questions and comments. This is so embarrassing.

"I'm hooome! Mommy, Daddy why are you naked in the bed? Daddy you should cover yourself, your wee wee is showing!"

"Little E go into the living room!"

We scrambled to cover ourselves. I slipped on a night shirt and Eli put on pajama pants. We walked into the living room where little E was sitting on the couch watching TV. Eliza gave us a dirty look and shook her head before asking me about the big night.

"So, are we family or what Edwards?"

"We're going to be family Goldsworthy."

"Yay! Oh and by the way you should give a person some notice next time. Gosh I was traumatized and so was little E!"

"Dad's wee wee was sick like mine was the other day!"

I started laughing uncontrollably. Eli just blushed and looked down. Eliza made gagging noises and shook her head. Little E looked confused. Eli finally cracked and laughed. This has certainly been a memorable twenty four hours.

**Reviews please? I hope you enjoyed this =)**


	6. Chapter 6

Fitz

It's snowing outside. I held Kelly up to the window so that she could see. She looked amazed as she smiled. She pressed her chubby little fingers to the window and then she put her face to the glass. Soon the snow was a forgotten matter, and she was more interested with the fact that her mouth could make the glass fog. I'm glad she's stopped crying for Eliza. This is the first good week we've had since… well since the break up. We've managed to get through the entire week with Kelly asking for her or going to her side of the bed crying. I guess she's given up hope. Too bad I'm not like Kelly. I haven't changed the sheets yet because that's the last lingering bit of Eliza's perfume that is still in the house. It's sad but I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I meet her for coffee to give her money for the baby. It's weird but when she was here, I guess I just figured she'd always be here, but now that she's not… it seems like I haven't seen her in decades.

I put Kelly on the floor and she ran around the house. There's really nothing she can get into right now so… No reason to monitor her every step. There was a knock at the door. I opened it and I was surprised to see… Owen. Well I guess they let him out of jail. He looked at least ten years older than he really is. He had scars on his face and tattoos covered his neck like a scarf.

"Owen?"

"Sup man! Long time no see!"

"Hey man… When did you get out?"

"A few days ago."

"Oh… Cool."

"Well you just gonna stand there or are you going to let your best friend in? Oh by the way I forgive you for not visiting."

"Sorry man I just…"

"I know… you were just all wrapped up in little girl Goldsworthy… She around here anywhere?"

"No she's not."

"Well she has been… There are pictures of you guys everywhere. How sweet, little captured memories."

"Dadddddddyyyyyy!"

"Who was that?"

"My daughter, Kelly."

I picked Kelly up and cradled her close to my body. Though I don't remember Owen being a child molester he did go to jail for rape. I don't think I'll be letting Kelly out of my sight while he's visiting. I'm her dad and I have to protect her…

"She's so cute, but she's not Eliza's"

"No, she's uh not. She's by Brenda."

"Dirty dog… Say hi to Uncle Owen little cutie, bet you are going to be one little morsel when you grow up."

"Daddy… Iza!"

That's it! I got Kelly an overnight bag and put her on a thick coat while Owen made himself at home on my couch. I told him I'd be right back and I called Eliza while I was driving. She picked up on the third ring… gone are the days when it was the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Eliza, can you do me a huge favor?"

"Sure, what's wrong?"

"Owen is out of jail and I don't want to offend him but I don't want him around Kelly, can you watch her tonight?"

"Sure… Why not, um I'm over Clare and Eli's."

"Thanks."

When I got there little E answered the door. He was pumped up, probably because they cancelled school tomorrow, or maybe it was just because of the snow. Either way he was hyper and excited.

"Hi Fitz!"

"Hey buddy!"

"Are you here to see Aunt Eliza?"

"Yeah."

"Okay! Are you two together again?"

"No buddy we aren't..."

"Why not?"

"Because… Grown up stuff."

"Grown ups always say that…"

"Little E, back to the TV."

"Okay Aunt Eliza."

"Hey…"

"Hey, so I got all the stuff I thought she would need. I'm not good at this sort of thing because well…"

"I always did it for you."

"Yeah. Thanks again for doing this. How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, I missed Kelly…"

"Kelly missed you too. I miss you too…"

"…. So Owen is out?"

"Yeah…"

"Be safe."

"I will. Oh, here… it's the money for the baby…you're um getting big."

"Yeah I know. Thanks. You don't have to give me money you know, I work at above the Dot."

"You shouldn't be working. You are in school and pregnant."

"I don't want to have to depend on you."

"Well you can…"

"Thanks."

"You're welcomed."

I placed my hand on her belly for a second and then I took my leave. She looked sad again. Maybe it's killing her the same way its killing me not to be with her. Maybe, she misses me or… maybe she doesn't and I read it wrong. Who'd miss me after all?

Eliza

Dammit, just when I was ready to say that I was halfway over Fitz… I see him… Now I'm spinning back into that web of sadness and misery. At least I get to see Kelly for tonight. She hugged me and gave me wet, sloppy little kisses. She's so adorable.

"Iza!"

"Kelly!"

"Iza!"

She sat in my lap calling my name while Little E sat beside me poking my growing belly. He looked curious. I grabbed his little hand and asked him to refrain. He exhaled loudly and with attitude and then I heard sniffles.

"Little E are you crying?"

"When you have your baby I won't be your favorite little boy in the world no more."

"Yes you will Little E. I will love this baby, yes, but you are my nephew, my first nephew and you will always have a special place in my heart."

"Promise?"

"I swear."

"Okay then… I'll stop…"

Eli and Clare were sitting on the other couch watching TV. Little E went and jumped right in the middle of their little cuddle fest. They welcomed him with open arms and took turns tickling him. He then made Eli tell him the story of how he and Clare met.

"It was a cold, dark night… not even the moon and stars were out. I was walking through the woods looking for vampires and your mom just ran past wearing this long, silky white dress."

"Really Eli?"

"Yes, really Clare… I knew something was up so I followed her and low and behold she was being chased by an ubervamp three thousand…half vampire half robot with laser beam eyes and machine gun legs."

"Oh no! What did you do?"

"Well little E, I'll tell ya what I done. I pulled out my trusty dagger… which I no longer have… I threw it and it landed right in the thing's heart. It malfunctioned and sparks flew out and then… it burst into flames and the ashes sunk into the ground. Mommy was so grateful that she offered me her hand in marriage."

"Wow…so if I'm gonna get Mindy I'll have to save her from monsters?"

"Well no, because I killed them all."

"Cool!"

I just laughed. Part of me wonders if Little E actually believed that junk. When he's older he will wonder what in the hell he was thinking to be amazed by a story like that. Once Elijah Jr. was in his room playing Clare punched Eli in the arm.

"Ouch!"

"That's what you get for lying. There wasn't one bit of truth in that Elijah Goldsworthy."

"You have to admit though babe, it was cooler than the old… we met at school line..."

"And I have to be snow bound with you…"

"Lucky you."

"Eliza, are you okay? Would you like to lie Kelly down on the extra bed in little E's room?"

"Thanks Clare, that's be great."

I laid Kelly down and she was still sleeping like a log. I kissed Little E goodnight and then I went to the bathroom before coming back in the living room to converse with my brother and his soon to be wife. They seemed so happy together.

"He misses me."

"Tell me about it, at guy's night all he does is whine about how much he misses you and how he'd act right."

"Eli, don't tell her that, you will confuse her. Honey, do you think going back would be a good idea?"

"I'm not I just… I miss being part of something."

"Eliza, you are part of something. You are a part of our family."

"That's sweet Clare but… you Eli and little E have your own thing while dad and Tommy now have their own little single working guy thing… Even Bianca and Alli are a little family and Adam and Fiona… I feel alone."

"Eliza what the hell… Clare and I involve you…"

"Yes you do but… I don't know, I can't explain it."

"Eli chill… Eliza I know how you feel. That's how it was when I was staying with you guys for that month and a half. You're involved but at the same time you know you can't call it your own."

"Yeah…"

"Well maybe, maybe you should try rebuilding…"

"You mean dating?"

"Well not getting married or anything but, Wesley is into you."

"Wesley?"

"Don't say it like that… He's nice."

"Yeah I know he's nice. I just didn't think he liked girls like me."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, not into video games, comics or chemistry, and pregnant with another guy's kid."

"Pregnant chicks are hot."

"Eli! What pregnant chicks have you been scoping out?"

"Relax Clare; I was talking about you… Duh."

"Better be. But yeah, pregnant chicks are hot!"

"It... I don't know. He's probably not interested anymore."

"Well then if he's not he just lost interest because he asked me about you today."

"He did?"

"Yeah…"

"Well…"

"Look don't make any hasty decisions, if you want to wait then you can and if you want to talk to Fitz, your brother and I understand."

"Thanks but, I don't think either of those is good for me right now. I just want to sleep and cry and maybe… Eat… definitely eat."

Fitz

I got back to my place just as the snow was sticking to the roads. Owen was there was at least ten empty beer cans lined up in front of his face. I shut the door and went into the living room. I sat in the lazy boy.

"You took her to Eliza's because I came here didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did."

"My my my, what high standards we have now."

"Owen you went to jail for rape and I have a baby girl… I don't know who's told you different but it has been six years since high school and things have changed."

"You think I don't know how long it's been! I know! I was in jail every one of those days! You wanna know the real reason I came here tonight? I came here to get a little payback on your girl Eliza for telling the police what she saw. She and that slut Bianca are going to pay. If they hadn't been witnesses and if that living dead freak Eli hadn't fought me that night I would be… In college playing ball…"

"You bought it on yourself and if you even think about hurting Eliza and our ba…"

"Bitch has a bun in the oven; oh I'm going to love kicking her in the stomach."

I punched him in the nose and he got up, pushing me to the ground. Being in jail has only made him bigger in muscle. I kicked me in the side and then picked me up by my neck. I kicked him in the nards and grabbed me gun from the coat closet.

"Put that thing down Fitzy, you don't know how to use it."

"Really because the certificate and license I got say otherwise… Get out and if you hurt Bianca or Eliza…"

"Why go for them? Why not finish off that freak Adam… Gracie… what's its face?"

"Fucking madman."

"Maybe I'll get a piece of you..."

I shot him in the knee and h doubled over in pain. I called the police and they arrived momentarily. I put my gun down but the police weren't fast enough. Owen grabbed the gun and shot me right in my side…The pain was excruciating. The shot and killed Owen…. As for me, who knows what will happen?

Eliza

"Ms. F, what are you talking about?"

"Owen shot Fitz Eliza…. The hospital just called me. I don't know if you still care but…"

"Of course I still care is he dead?"

"Well, they didn't say but the nurse who called me suggest that I contact our priest."

"Oh…"

I got dressed in a hurry… Tears were streaming down my eyes. Clare emerged from she and Eli's bedroom to check on me. I barely noticed her coming up though, so I jumped when she tapped my shoulder.

"Eliza honey, what's the matter?"

"Owen shot Fitz and his mom said they told her it'd be a good idea to call their priest."

"Oh, I'm so sorry; do you need a ride to the hospital?"

"No, Ms. Fitzgerald is picking me up, could you watch Kelly for me?"

"Of course, just…go."

Ten minutes later Ms. F's car pulled up. I ran down and got in. She fought back tears and we went to the hospital. While they gave her the news I stood off to the side. I noticed the priest walk in, looking for Ms. F… He stood there listening to the doctors as well. My baby kicked… I couldn't smile or be happy…

Ms. F came and sat back down beside me. She grabbed my hand and cried for a few minutes. Father Daily and I tried to comfort her, but nothing worked. A few minutes later she was stable enough to tell me the news.

"There is a twenty five percent chance of him making it through the night. The bullet went in through his side, puncturing his heart and it drifted to his shoulder. They patched up his heart and removed the bullet, then his lungs collapsed, the left lung was punctured as well… They went back in and fixed it, but now fluid is building in his lungs."

"Oh…"

All I could manage to say was Oh… Then I fell apart like a water balloon. He can't die he just can't! What about Kelly, what about his mom and me? What about me and our baby. He didn't want it, but what if he would have changed his mind, and then we could have been a family… Now he's gonna die and I'll be alone!

I tried to dry up my tears when the nurses called us to go back and see him. Father Daily said a prayer over him and his mom talked about memories she had of him. Me, I just kissed his cheek and grabbed his hand, placing it where the baby's heartbeat is. He woke up for a brief minute from the strong pain meds.

"Am I dying Eliza?"

"I don't know."

"You care…"

"Of course I care Fitz."

"I thought you hated…. Owen came here tonight to hurt you."

"Well some diversion."

"Tell me about it. Promise me you and my mom will take care of Kelly?"

"I promise…"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The next morning when the sun rose above the city, the snow glistened and Fitz was still alive. He'd made it through the night. Though his lungs still had a little fluid in them, the pumps were working and he was surviving. They were keeping him heavily medicated for the pain but he fought it to stay awake whenever he could. Before the medicine knocked him out on particular time he said something that caught my attention.

"You know I didn't mean that… What I said that hurt your feelings I just wish… Not that I didn't have to father your child but that you could have found someone better… I'm a bad man Eliza… A bad man and I'm stupid, I didn't get into college but you did so you're smart and I just knew… One day you'd leave to be with some smart man and take my babies with you…Brenda was stupid like me…"

"Fitz, go to sleep."

"ZZZZZZZZ!"

I hope he heals soon, we need to talk.

**Hey people please review? Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7

Eli

I walked to Clare's class, mine got out early and I figured I would surprise her and walk her to the library before I leave for work. I got to the door of the lecture hall and I saw her professor… stroking her arm in a really personal way. I don't like that.

"Clare. Hi."

"Oh... Eli! Hi!"

"Hi."

"Professor Witten, this is my boyfriend."

"Fiancé…."

"Eli Goldsworthy."

"Well Eli, nice to meet you. You certainly have an exceptional and… beautiful woman at your side."

"Thanks yeah I know."

The guy could probably sense my hostile tone and so could Clare. Once we were outside the classroom she snatched her hand away from mine. She started in with the questions of course.

"Why did you act so rude?"

"Clare the man had his hands all over you."

"Eli, what are you talking about?"

"Rubbing all over your arm, just swooning over you."

"Why are you getting so jealous Eli?"

"Because Clare… I don't know."

"Well I don't know either. When you come home tonight don't bother looking for me, little E and I are staying the weekend with Darcy, Peter is going out of town and she doesn't wanna be alone. Just thought I'd fill you in so you don't think I'm out cheating."

"Clare wait…"

"Why?"

"I'm sorry I just… That guy is creepy okay? Something's not right with him."

"Whatever Eli. I'm supposed to meet Eliza. See you around."

See you around? See you around? That's all I get is a see you around? Grrr! I'm so ticked right now that I could bite something, anyone… Ugghh! While I was walking to my car Adam spotted me and came running.

"Whoa dude, you seem mad."

"I am. Clare and I had a fight."

"What happened?"

"I think her professor has the hot for her."

"Whoa seriously."

"It's the way he rubbed her arm and he called her beautiful."

"Well she is."

"Hey!"

"She is!"

"I know but… I don't know, maybe I overreacted."

"Yeah maybe just a smidge."

"Well she has shut me out."

"Give it some time. What's going on Eli? You've never been the jealous type."

"Well now I am okay! Clare doesn't act the same anymore, she's distant, and I'm distant because she's distant. It's like she's separating herself from me or something but I don't know why."

"Then ask."

"Watch Little E Monday and I will."

"Sure, Fiona will be rested up and she loves him… We'll take him to see a movie."

"Thanks."

I went to work… I tried not to think about my over reaction or Clare, but I couldn't help it. The more the scene replayed in my head the more I felt like a total asshat. Why did I act that way? Why did I say those things? Why why why?

The weekend passed quickly because I took two extra shifts at the recording studio. That helped kill time, yet Monday when I was at work for my dad it seemed like the hands on the clock were ticking away at a snail's pace. When it finally hit five I clocked out, told my old man bye and I went upstairs. Little E had his back pack of fun; Adam and Fiona were holding both his hands. I ruffled his hair and he fussed before telling me goodbye. Clare told our friends goodbye and then silence took over.

"Clare."

"Eli… Over you jealous phase or am I not allowed to say goodbye to Adam?"

"Clare, I'm sorry I just… We've been distant. Why have we been distant?"

"Eli, I have something to tell you."

"Okay."

"Promise not to leave me?"

"How bad is it?"

"When…. Last month when I was staying after class… Professor Witten and I… We…"

"Clare no!"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to it just happened Eli!"

"It just happened? It just happened!"

"Eli yes it just happened and I haven't done anything with him since but he…"

"Yeah, I get it!"

"Why are you yelling?"

"Because I'm mad! You cheated Clare! You… you broke us!"

"You promised you wouldn't leave!"

"I'm still here aren't I? Clare you broke us… We were great and you broke us."

"No Eli you thought we were great. Truth is I'm bored! I'm bored with all of this! Bored with having to tend to someone else every day of my life! Bored with cooking dinner every night! Bored with not being able to go out with my friends when they go out! I'm tired of being so grown up and that was my chance to do something reckless and irresponsible."

"You don't think I wish things were different Clare? I do okay! You don't think I want to go to all the concerts and readings and get drunk and high like other guys my age? Well I can't because I have to work to support this family! Our family, with our son!"

"You don't think I do my share?"

"I know you do your share, but I'm saying that we both have our roles Clare… Sometimes I wish I could have gone on tour with bands as a part of their entourage, god knows it's been offered to me but I had to sacrifice. I can't tell you how many times I could have stepped out with loose groupies… But I never did."

"Well maybe you should have."

"What would that have proved? Nothing! Because at the end of the day we still have a son! We still have bills and even though I'm only twenty one I have to pretend I'm thirty five every fucking day of my life Clare! You aren't the only one who had to grow up before their time. Yes, you had the baby but wasn't I there for you all nine months and every day since little E came into this world?"

"Yes… It's just… too much."

"Too much?"

"I can't take this anymore! I feel like I'm a dog on a chain."

"And I'm the chain?"

"…."

"You don't have to stay then Clare. Go on…live your life."

"I'm sorry…"

"Yeah me too."

She packed her bags and left. I don't know where she went to… I don't think I care. I guess I'm just like my dad now. I'm going to be a single dad. When little E came home from his night out with Adam he looked for me and Clare. I was sitting on the couch. He walked over, a new toy in hand. I knew Fiona would spoil him.

"Daddy… You're crying. What happened?"

"Nothing little E. How was the movie?"

"It was good. Where's mommy?"

"She's uh… On vacation."

"Oh… Daddy why is stuff broken? It's glass on the floor."

"I know, I'll clean it up, don't touch it. Take your bath and go to bed. You have school in the morning."

"Okay daddy."

Clare

I never pictured things going this far. It was only one night with professor Witten and it's been on my conscience since it happened. I never meant to hurt Eli, I just… I had to tell him, I had to tell him everything.

I thought about Little E. What will he tell him? Knowing Eli he'll say I'm visiting relatives or something but Little E is smart, he might accept the lie but he will know it isn't true. I can't just walk away from my baby but I can't continue on like I've been doing. It's just too… I want to feel like I'm twenty because I am. I'm tired of being needed and depended on. I'm tired of not being able to go out and dance until dawn with my friends. I want to be normal. I love my son but I wish I'd never had him. Then there wouldn't be such restlessness in my life. I would have gotten to live out my wild days and they wouldn't just be catching up with me.

I can't believe I hurt Eli this way. It's killing me to think that. The pain in his eyes, the tears streaming down his face… I guess I've never realized this before but he did grow up too fast too, maybe even more than me. He has been there the entire time. That's true but… he's stronger than I am. He'll be okay or so I hope. I told Darcy and Peter what happened.

"Clare, I don't know what to say. You're just going to give up seeing little E every day? You're just going to give up the little family you're created? I mean sure, you missed out on the wild days but… you chose to do that when you chose to have the baby."

"Darcy you wouldn't understand."

"But I do… You feel like you grew up too fast, and I get that but you have to but think about little E… if you leave he'll have to grow up too fast too. Do you honestly think he will still be able to be a real kid with Eli working two jobs and going to school while trying to keep everything balanced? He's going to have to fend for himself now… You should have thought things over Clare, you should think things over. Eli loves you and so does your son… Think about that."

I went upstairs to think things over. Just then there was a call on my cell phone. It was Professor Witten. He calls every night. I answered and he started in with the dirty talk he always does.

"Hi my sexy little teacher's pet."

"Hi."

"In the mood?"

"Not really."

"Look, you can't just keep putting me off. If you do… people will see what I have."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say… hidden cameras are handy in the classroom. You wouldn't want the entire campus to see you, slumped over the desk taking it or… do I even need to mention the other stuff."

"No… Can you meet me at Round About?"

"Sure, wear something sexy."

I slipped on a red dress and went to the bar. When I got there Professor Witten was waiting. He slide a whiskey my way. I don't drink but I downed it. He kissed my shoulder and then my neck.

"You need me, not some little punk. You liked me huh?"

"Yeah…"

He led me to a back room where we laid on a couch. He thrusted into me. I couldn't enjoy it. I could only think about… Well you know. I didn't orgasm but I was glad when he did. When he finished he slapped my face. I fell on the ground. He tossed me a DVD.

"That's for being such a slut about things… Be in class bright and early, there's a quiz and you need the grade. You're failing my class."

He left the room and I broke the DVD into pieces. How did things get so bad so quick? It happened just like a whirlwind. In addition to all the other bad things I can add failure to the list. Clare Edwards, slut, abandoner, heartbreaker and now… failure.

The next morning after class I went to the food court. I got a coffee and sat at a table. Eliza came and sat down. She didn't look happy, she looked serious. I guess I'm about to lose a friend too. It's understandable.

"Clare why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"The video? Why did you do that with Professor Witten? Why did you cheat on Eli? That's not what bothers me most though, what about Little E?"

"I don't know! It just all started happening and I couldn't stop it. I felt pressured and crazy and trapped and I done bad things… The video? Who all saw it?"

"Everyone pretty much."

"I understand if you don't want to be friends with me."

"Clare I am mad at you… You hurt my brother and when my nephew finds out he will be hurt… but you need more friends than enemies right now. If this reaches the dean, you could get in real trouble. Professor Witten resigned today, I guess to avoid the backlash."

"Everything is gone."

Eli

"Thanks again Eliza for babysitting Little E, I know with Kelly and all they can be a handful."

"Don't mention it. You okay?"

"I saw a video of my… my ex doing a professor, I'm not okay but there are bills to be paid. How is Fitz?"

"He's doing better… He's healing but they aren't going to let him out of the hospital until his heart and lungs have gotten a bit stronger."

"That's good to hear that's he's progressing."

I went to work and I could hardly concentrate. Though I could only watch a few minutes of the video before I deleted it, the images stayed in my mind the rest of the day. One of the guitarists of a band recording, Acid G, came out to the front desk.

"Eli, what's up man?"

"Just… life Acid, just life."

"Man. I hear that. You coming to hear the Newbies play tomorrow night?"

"I wish I could but. I have to work and then I have to raise my son."

"Dude I hear that. I'll tape it for you."

"Thanks dude."

I'm too busy living life to live life…

**Please leave a review. I want to know everyone's take on this...um catastrophe. Do you think Eclare will be able to come back strong after this? What about Little E? Hmmm... **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey people I got bored and I'm procrastinating so that I can avoid doing homework which I desperately need to get done so I added **

Eli

It's been a few weeks since the world went crumbling to pieces. Little E keeps asking to see Clare, but I know for that to happen I'd have to see her too. I avoid her at all costs at school and other than that she's never around. At times it feels like I'm going crazy. Even worse though is the humiliation…I walked down to hallway, intent on making it to my car before the rain started. Some guy was whispering about Clare to his friend.

"See that goth guy right there? The chick in the video is his girlfriend."

"Hey bro! Wanna say that shit to my face?"

"Hey man don't be mad at me, your girlfriend was the one doing to professor and I heard she still didn't pass the class."

I pushed him against the wall and before I could hit him I felt someone pulling me away. I looked around to see familiar blue eyes staring at me. Clare…I walked away with her disregarding the insults the guy was still yelling.

"You shouldn't have stopped me."

"If I didn't you could have gotten expelled."

"Thanks I guess."

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"How's Little E?"

"He misses you."

"I miss him too."

I didn't stick around to say much of anything else. Even though Clare cheated on me, I still have a weak spot in my heart for her. I don't need to be around her right now. That will only complicate things knowing that she doesn't want this… Knowing that she doesn't really want me.

Eliza has started picking Little E up from school on a regular basis so that I can work. When I got to the shop my dad called me into his little break room. I haven't told him what happened but by now he knows.

"How bad is it?"

"You mean the cheating or the leaving?"

"Both…"

"Well she did it with her professor and he taped it then leaked it to the entire school… But not before she expressed her feelings of being pressured and restricted."

"Wow… I never took Clare for the cheating type. This may or may not help but at least it was only one guy. Did I ever tell you that I wasn't sure you were mine when you were born?"

"No, you didn't dad."

"Well son, your mom was rather….let's just say…. She grew up in a house full of swingers so she liked to swing. I didn't know this and so when the day came and you were born not only was I looking at you through the window, so were five other guys. I got into a fight with two of them and your mom tried explaining, but there was no explaining…. Finally a nurse suggested we get paternity tests and well… you were mine. I was mad at your mom and hurt… So hurt but I don't know something wouldn't let me stay angry."

"Mom was easy…five other guys?"

"Hey, that's your mother. Sometimes I wish I hadn't immediately taken her back. I wish I could have gotten to know her again and rebuild but no… my dumbass married her and got divorced a year later."

"Wow."

"How's little E?"

"He misses Clare."

"You two need to talk this thing out. Don't let her run away from her duties as a mom, that's what I done with you guys and even though I know I done my best… I still knew Eliza was sad that I let her mom abandon her, I know that you wished sometimes that you had someone to cuddle you like moms do and I know Tommy wonders why his mom wouldn't even take his phone calls."

"Dad I just don't know what to say. I still love Clare of course but, would it be dumb to give her another chance? She broke my heart into a million pieces. This almost hurts as much as when I lost Julia. I don't know whether I'm coming or going and I just feel sick whenever I think about the video of her just…."

"Go home Eli. Think about things. Think about what you can and can't live with and also where you want your life to end up."

"Thanks dad."

I went upstairs into my place and I started cleaning up. Dishes were starting to pile up in the sink and the carpet needed a vacuuming so I started tidying up the place. When I was cleaning I started thinking, what would be worse: Starting completely over or letting everything go completely. Either way none of the hard work and sacrifice from the past would matter. Both would guarantee a clean slate but only one would at least halfway ensure I'd get what I want in the end.

Eliza busted through the door with Little E and Kelly. Kelly was babbling and little E was walking with his eyes to the ground. He's been that way lately. Eliza sat Kelly down and then plopped down on the recliner.

"What are you doing up here?"

"I live here."

"Well how do you expect me to play aunt/nanny if you're here?"

"Dad sent me home. I'm supposed to be thinking."

"Ohhh…"

"How is she?"

"Sad, embarrassed, full of regret and resentment."

"Think she still has any love in her heart for us?"

"Tons… I think she had a moment of insanity, but even those come with a price to pay right."

"What would you do?"

"What did I do? You're forgetting I got cheated on twice… At least Clare didn't get pregnant by Professor Witten. When Fitz cheated I felt like… I could have died. I felt like a puzzle missing a piece that could only be found in her. Only god knows the reason I actually decided to give him a second chance."

"So what would you suggest?"

"Talk… That's all I can suggest. Things will never be the same but, that doesn't mean it can't still be okay again eventually."

"Watch little E?"

"I'm supposed to be watching him anyway. Go while I'm still on the clock."

I texted Clare and asked her to meet me at the Dot. When I got there she was sitting at one of the tables outside. She had two coffee cups. When I sat down he slid one of them my way. It was a latte. She remembered I guess.

"What did he have that I didn't?"

"Nothing. I just did it on impulse."

"Did you know he was taping it?"

"No… I swear I didn't. I didn't find out until the day before he leaked it."

"Why didn't you talk to me before any of this Clare? Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to go out and be young?"

"I don't know Eli. I don't know… That would have been the better thing to do but I guess I just wanted to be crazy. It's like I wasn't myself. I haven't been myself for a few months. I mean I tell myself and everyone else that this is the life for me but I don't know which life I want. I love Little E, I love you… It's like I just lost who I am completely."

"Your cross."

"What cross?"

"The necklace you used to wear."

"I haven't worn it since…Since little E was born. I had to take it off during labor and delivery."

"You loved it."

"I used to love it and everything it represented. That was before my home and family because history. I made my own family but… now that's history too."

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then see a therapist and find out who you are and what you want and need."

"Why?"

"Because Clare if you don't know who you are then neither do I. When you find out you are I can get to know you again."

"Can I come back home?"

"No. Not yet. You're a stranger to me right now. As far as I'm concerned I've never met you in my life."

"Eli wh…"

"We need to start over Clare. We need to start over so I can get to know you again because I don' know you."

"What about Little E?"

"I'll keep him during the week and he can stay weekends with you."

"This is going to be different."

"Yeah. Things might not ever be the same but… they might eventually be okay again."

"Promise?"

"Not unless you promise to communicate and get help and think before you act."

"I promise."

"Good because you're not only promising to me, you're promising to Little E."

I'll always know what she done and it will always hurt me but this once there can be redemption for us, for our family. We shook hands and I told her I'd give Little E to her Friday.

Fitz

My chest hurts and the IV's are irritating. I'm getting it back sevenfold all the bad things I've ever done. Who knew such a tiny piece of metal could do so much to a person? Of course we've heard what guns can do but until you're dealing with the result of a bullet ripping through your body, there's no way you can really know.

The beeping of the heart monitor is making me crazy but I can't get rid of it. If I do they will think I'm dead. So I guess I will have to endure it. I looked at the chair Eliza was sitting in. She's so big now and it's a boy. I always imagined my first son having my name but, I don't deserve to have my name passed down. I haven't been there for her but she's never left my side. Not only that but she's mothering a baby she didn't give birth to. My daughter Kelly. Seeing how giving and strong she is makes me feel crappy and I regret a lot of the crap I put her through when I was in the thrill of the cheat or just because I felt like being mean.

She was pregnant once before. She wanted to keep the baby but I cursed her out and I threatened to leave the city if she didn't get rid of it. I used her condition against her and that's when she agreed. All the way to the clinic she cried, and for two weeks straight after it was doen she was dead inside. Kelly was born seven months later. Eliza was angry but I acted like the victim.

All the times I've slapped her, shoved her, shaken her, choked her, talked bad to her… forced her to have sex with me… she should have had me arrested but she didn't. She should have run without looking back but she stayed. She stayed even though my very best friends told her to leave…. Yeah, I'm paying for being terrible now.

Clare

The dean had mercy on me even though she shouldn't have. I deserve to be expelled and banned. Who could imagine that St. Clare, a girl who'd vowed to stay pure until marriage would cheat on the only guy she's ever loved with a professor just because she felt like being reckless? I never saw my life going in this direction and I now see that none of the cheating or the sudden wild behavior was worth it. I still have my friends but my fiancé is gone. When we talked, I saw how hurt he was. I felt like I could have killed myself. I decided to go somewhere I haven't gone in years. Not since, right after my parents split. I donned my bible and I went to the women's church prayer group. This one wasn't at my old church, it was on campus but I figure that god doesn't care as long as you show up…

When I walked in it seemed like eyes were burning through me. They've probably watched the video too. I guess I've made a bad reputation for myself. What a change from high school… The group started.

"Tonight it seems we have a new face. Would you like to say something miss?"

"Hi everyone, I'm Clare."

"Hi Clare."

"I haven't been to prayer group since I was fifteen. I used to never miss a meeting but my life just became so complicated. Now I'm lost and I figure to find out who I really am now I should start at the beginning with who I used to be."

"Well Clare, we are glad to have you."

"I'm sorry, Clare, are you the girl from the video?"

"Yes. I am… It was a mistake and that person isn't me."

"I just asked because.. You never know the whole story of what happened and I think it's wrong for people to call you names and slander your rep based on this one video sent out by this one deranged perverted professor. Um… Last year I was just like you except, he never leaked the video because he was too busy trying to keep his wife and kids. Point is, I know Clare… Here, nobody will judge you. I'm Beth by the way. If you ever need to talk or you need a catchy comeback, or even just some advice about how to block out the negativity and stuff, I'm here."

"Thanks, that means a lot."

Tonight I learned that I done something bad but I'm not a bad person. Though the world may see that because of the one thing I done wrong, I have to remember that before I made my mistakes I was funny, supportive and strong minded…

**Reviews Please, tell me what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

Clare

"Little E won't you even eat a little bit?"

"No… I don't wanna eat."

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"Stop that."

"Stop that."

"You're going to be in big trouble mister."

"You're going to be in big trouble mister."

"Little E is a brat."

"Clare is a brat."

I was about to lose my cool. He's always listened before but now it seems like… Like he has no home training at all. He's been difficult and disrespectful. I guess that's what I get though. This is the first I've seen my son in a month and in case you didn't notice, he's mad at me. He won't eat or hug me or anything. He cried for Eli when he dropped him off earlier. He won't talk to me. He's just sitting in the little rocking chair… rocking his life away while looking at the wall.

"Well fine little E, you don't want to eat with me or talk to me then that's fine… Just sit there."

"Well you don't want to eat with me or talk to me either! You left me!"

"What? Who... who told you that?"

"Nobody! Daddy keeps saying you are on vacation and stuff but I know the truth! You left because you don't like us no more!"

"That's not true baby..."

"Then what is it? Huh?"

"I don't know…"

"You're not my mommy anymore."

Tears started welling up in my eyes. I left the room. My baby is right. I did leave him and he has every right to be mad. I'm… I'm dead to him. So foolish of me to think he wouldn't figure things out on his own. He's always been smart for his age. I fucked up so bad… Darcy emerged from her room. She was taking a nap before she went to the Dot to see Peter.

"Clare, why are you crying?"

"Little E is so mad at me Darc. He won't look at me; he won't eat or talk to me. He won't let me hug him. He knows I left, despite the fact that Eli's been telling him I was on vacation and he says I'm not his mom anymore."

"Want me to take him with me? I can talk to him."

"Please? Would you?"

"Sure."

Adam

Well, tonight is supposed to be guy's night but its turned into mope around night… Eli hasn't been in the mood for gore lately, he's just wanted to watch… brace yourself… sports! Which he never watches, I didn't even know he knew the schematics of sports but apparently he does.

He's been really depressed lately about Clare. I'd be depressed too. He's been drinking a lot lately when Little E isn't here. I'm starting to think it's becoming a problem. Especially since all his empty bourbon bottles end up being tossed against the walls. He started in on a fresh bottle and I took it from him.

"Adam what are you doing?"

"You don't need this."

"I do…"

"No, you don't… you need your liver and kidneys remember."

"What's the point?"

"Little E is the point Eli. Right now it's just when he's not here, soon it will be just a little to get you through the day and next thing you know… Little E's picking your drunk ass up out of your own vomit on a regular basis."

"You're right. But it was either this or crack."

"Man you're messed… Look I know you think I can't relate, and maybe I can't but dude you can still talk to me. You're keeping it all inside and one day you are gonna pop open like a can of biscuits, or either develop an ulcer."

"We have counseling Monday and I don't know what I will say."

"Well don't think about it. Let it flow Eli. Tell the therapist and Clare how you really feel."

"Really? That's it? Ha… Little E doesn't trust her."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… Today when I dropped him off he cried for me. The same way I cried for my dad the first time I visited my mom in Florida after she left."

"Vicious circle."

"Revolving door…"

Little E and I both seem to have mommy issues. My mother is still not accepting the fact that I have to opportunity to finally be made into the person I feel like on the inside. I don't know if she will ever accept the fact that I was never Gracie in my heart. I'm only Gracie in hers.

I will start the hormones and treatments when school lets out for the summer, since I will be going through some changes its best that I don't have my classes as a distraction. Fiona has been really supportive through all of this. Though, seeing how Eli and Clare crumbled makes me wonder if… If Fiona and I are capable of crumbling that way too.

Eliza

I walked into the Dot to get something to eat before I go back to the hospital. Five and a half months pregnant and I'm craving… Sweet gherkin pickles with nacho cheese! Yummy! I placed my order to Peter, who seemed somewhat disgusted. Suddenly Darcy and Little E appeared at my table.

"Talk to him Eliza!"

"What's going on?"

"Aunt Liza tell Aunt Darcy I don't have a mama anymore! She left me! She doesn't like me!"'

"Little E, that's not true. Who told you that?"

"Jack…. His daddy did what mommy did… Left, and it was because he didn't like Jack and Jack's mommy no more."

"Well honey, your mommy is uh…"

"She's in time out."

"That's right Darcy, thanks… Your mommy is in time out. She done bad in school so the principal told her she had to live with aunt Darcy as punishment and she couldn't be with you and daddy because that would make her happy."

"I don't believe you. Principals can't do that."

"In college they can."

"Wow, so that's why daddy does his homework all the time? Because if he doesn't he'll get in trouble?"

"That's right…"

"Oh… I guess I have to say sorry to mommy. I made her cry."

"Yes you do have to say sorry. If I were you I would take her a flower."

"Okay Aunt Eliza."  
Little E and Darcy left the dot, and then it was just me and my pickles with cheese. I had a little break from Kelly. She was with Fitz's mom. Ms. F has been such a big help. We take turns at the hospital and taking care of Kelly. Fitz is getting better and that's good but… I'm starting to feel the effects of this. Being pregnant, juggling hospital duty, Kelly, Little E, school, homework and working at above the Dot on the weekends all while I'm trying the keep Fitz's house in order and making sure that neither Eli or Clare blow their brains out…. I'm exhausted. But, I have to press on. This is life right?

When I finished my pickles and cheese I tried to pay Peter but he let me have it for free… I stood up and the room spun a little. I'm sure it will wear off. I started walking and suddenly I was going down and there was no stopping it. Darkness and light faded out. I heard people panicking. I also heard someone placing a call to the hospital, after that I was out like a light.

Clare

I'm going to have to kiss Eliza for telling Little E that huge lie. He forgave me and gave me a rose with a kiss. We caught up and he told me how his month has been… Mostly he told me little news and updates about Eli… I guess he couldn't help but notice that Eli isn't himself.

"Mommy when are you going to stop being in time out?"

"Um baby I don't know… Whenever the principal says."

"Are you being good now?"

"I'm trying."

"Oh. I miss you mommy. Kelly is annoying, she slobbers a lot but I like hanging with Aunt Eliza after school. I miss you cooking."

"What have you been eating?"

"Well daddy tries to cook but it tastes yucky so I feed it to Isaiah and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with chocolate milk, but I wait till daddy is busy so I won't hurt his feelings."  
"Oh, how noble of you."

Darcy suddenly came downstairs, she looked excited but not in a good way.

"Clare, Peter needs to know Eli and Mr. Goldsworthy's phone numbers."

"Why, what happened?"

"It's Eliza; she just passed out at the Dot."

"Oh my goodness."

I went next-door and Tommy came to the door. He looked confused to see me yet a bit skeptical.

"Clare, what's up?"

"It's Eliza. She's passed out at the Dot and they are taking her to the hospital."

"Oh shit! Um… Dad!"

"What?"

"Eliza passed out at the Dot and they are taking her to the hospital!"

"What? How… I told her she was doing too much…. Come on. Clare, you coming along. You know Eliza will want you there you two being best friends and all."

"Sure… Just let me ask my sister to watch Little E."

I asked Darcy to babysit and she agreed. I put on my coat and then hopped in the car with Tommy and Mr. Goldsworthy. You'd think they would hate my guts but they seemed indifferent towards me. Tommy called Eli while we were on the way and by the time we made it to the hospital his hearse was in one of the ER parking spaces.

We got inside and it was a waiting game. Eli and I made small talk, chatting about…. Nothing mostly around Mr. Goldsworthy and Tommy but when we went to get coffee, the small talk ceased.

"Thanks for coming."

"Eli she's my best friend."

"She's probably exhausted… She's been spreading herself pretty thin lately."

"Yeah…thank you for not telling Little E the truth."

"He doesn't need to know…but he still does."

"Yeah I know… Hey they are having a canned food drive on campus next week."

"Really?"

"Yeah… I figure we can finally get rid of all that canned corn you bought a few months ago while you were gone crazy because you were so excited that a Sam's club had moved down the street from us."

"Ha, yeah and it's crazy because I hate corn with a passion."

"I know…"

"So, how's therapy been?"

"Well the three sessions I've had have been…um tearful… I found out I like schedules but not routines."

"That is… wow Clare. So should I bring tissues?"

"Only if you're going to cry. So you've been trying to cook?"

"So he's told you."

"He didn't want to hurt your feelings but he's been living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with chocolate milk… You and Isaiah are the only ones eating your cooking."

"I know he doesn't eat it. I found that out the first time I saw a little jelly handprint on the fridge and also when I saw ….well it was supposed to be gravy, all over Isaiah's face."

"I could cook a few nights a week if you'd like… You know bring it over to you guys. I'd hate to think that Little E is subjected to that mess you call you food."

"So Clare has jokes, that's funny. That would be nice for you to cook."

After we drank the coffee we went back into the waiting room where the doctor was talking to Mr. Goldsworthy. Mr. Goldsworthy didn't look too upset so I'm guessing its good news. We sat down and then he gave us the news.

"Eliza is going to be fine. She's just exhausted with extremely low iron. The baby is doing okay too. They are gonna keep her overnight for observation though."

"Maybe I shouldn't ask her to babysit so much."

"Son, nobody is to blame… This just happens and if you don't slow down you'll be next."

"Dad come on…."

"Eli, I can start getting little E after school…and I'll just bring him over with… a decent meal after you get off work."

"You sure? It's not too much for you?"

"No, it's not…."

"Well that would be awesome then."

Eliza

I hate this IV. I feel so sleepy but I don't want to close my eyes. They have me and my baby's heart rate and he's doing good. Suddenly my dad, Tommy, Eli and Clare were in the room…

"Who has the getaway car? I'm busting out."  
"Kid no you aren't, you're staying in that bed… You have to calm down."

"So I've heard."

"Eliza…"

"Clare."

"Thanks…"

"Don't mention it."

Everybody told me to rest up and get well. Yeah yeah yeah, that is so easy to say when you're not the one missing out on tasks and life. I guess I could use the rest though. While I was trying to think myself to sleep Fitz rolled into the room.

"So they got you too? This place just attracts people."

"Guess so… I was on my way to see you."

"I know…you shouldn't have been though. You should have been going home to sleep."

"I'm fine."

"Well apparently you don't want to talk about the elephant so… I get out in two weeks if things continue to look up."

"That's good. Are you going to stay in your house? Owen died in there and all."

"Yeah. It's our…I mean my home. My mom had Father Daily cleanse it."

"Oh..."

"You know I've been thinking of clearing out hat room I keep all my junk in. It would be perfect for the baby's room."

"Yeah, like when he stays with you the weekend."

"Yeah…exactly."

"Did you think it'd be that easy?"

"I figured it wouldn't be but I hoped."

"Well maybe when we both get better we can hang out as friends and we will see from there."

Fitz was there until I went to sleep. He held my hand the entire time and then right before I sensed him leave I felt him place a soft kiss on my belly. I hate the hospital but I guess I need sleep.

**Reviews please? Thanks! =D**


	10. Chapter 10

Eli

"But daddy I don't want to be in the Christmas pageant!"

"Little E, mommy wants you to be in it… It could be fun."

"Well I want to play a cow."

"A cow? You're an angel."

"That's a girl role… I want to be a wise man."

"You're an angel."

"I want to be a piggy!"

"You're already one without the play little E."

"Hey!"

"Dude come on… I'll….take you out for ice-cream if you go to this rehearsal and behave, and then if you do well in the pageant there may be a little vacation in order before school starts back."

"To where?"

"Where does Mickey Mouse live?"

"Disney world? Oh boy! Is mommy coming?"

"We will see."

Little E has turned into a little piggy. That boy is picking up weight. He's chubby, but not really fat. I haven't had to buy him any new clothes, that's a plus right? I guess that is my fault, I let him eat whatever he wants. I don't know how to regulate his diet like Clare used to. I guess it's also wrong to use Disney world as an incentive for Little E considering the fact that we were going regardless. It will be good for me to see my mom again, and she would finally get to meet little E. I still haven't decided if I'm going to ask Clare to go or not. Things have gotten better. I'm not that mad at her anymore thanks to therapy and the lessening gossip but… I still have my moments. I put little E's angel costume on and he looked more like… Well let's just say he's not the type of angel you'd want to be at your bedside. Talk about angry.

We arrived at the church where Clare was standing in the back with Eliza and Darcy. Little E hugged them all before going up and joining the practice. I guess I'm chatting with the ladies for right now.

"He looks so mad, what'd you do to him Eli?"

"Clare are you implying that I anger little E?"

"Just asking."

"He doesn't want to be an angel."

"I knew he'd hate that part but doesn't his little chubby butt look adorable in that angel costume?"

"If you say so."

"You bribed him didn't you?"

"How'd you know?"

"I don't know, a little birdie told me."

Little E didn't have many lines but there were lots of little songs to sing. He didn't seem to have a problem with those; he knew them mostly because around Christmas time he usually hears Clare singing it around the house.

After the rehearsal Little E practically ripped off the costume and handed it to Clare with a scowl on his face. She took it and tried to conceal her laugh. Eliza pulled him into a hug and he gave in, letting her kiss on his cheeks.

"Aunt Eliza, are you excited about going to Disney World with me and Daddy?"

"Yeah I am Little E, how'd you find out we were going? We weren't telling you until Christmas morning…"

"That may have been the bribe…"

"Party pooper."

"Disney world?"

"Clare didn't Eli tell you?"

"No he didn't."

"I was getting to it guys… Clare, we are going to Disney world."

"You had to deliberate on inviting me didn't you?"

"I didn't know if you would want to go…"

"Well I want to go… if it's not too much trouble for you."

"It's not."

Well that went horrible. I should have told Little E to keep things a secret. Now I feel really bad… Clare looked hurt and she probably feels left out. I decided that we needed to talk so I invited her out with me for little E's reward ice-cream at Crazy Cream; it's like chucky cheese for ice-cream. I gave him some money to get tokens and he played while Clare and I talked over a banana split.

"It's okay if you don't want me to go. I understand."

"Clare it's not that okay… Okay it sort of was that. I hadn't decided if I was asking you or not."

"Well I'll just stay. Wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Look, we have an extra spot anyway since Tommy is going to Aspen. Over the next few weeks let's… hang out. Like we done when we first met. If we are going to get back on track we have to start talking in therapy and outside of therapy."

"Okay."

"Are you sad?"

"Just a little."

"Please don't be."

"I can't help it…"

"Clare you don't think I miss you being home?"

"Who knows? Maybe you have someone else."

"I don't okay! God, I miss you… I miss us but we have to do this right so that we can be stronger. Don't cry…"

"I can't help it."

Clare

I tried to compose myself. At any moment little E could come waltzing over to see my crying. He's smarter than a lot of other kids his age and he will know Eli and me bickering. I want to go home… Not to Darcy and Peter's house… the house that used to be mine when I was still a child but my home. The one Eli bought and fixed up for us.

At night when Darcy and Peter are out, or in their room being their own little family I just sit in front of the tree and think about how little E tops our tree with a living dead doll instead of a star. I miss that… But I have nobody to blame but me…

I even miss Eli's Christmas pranks like… him dressing up like the Grinch, body paint and all… to chase me and little E around while we screamed in terror. Yeah that is a crazy memory but it's my memory. I could still kick myself in the face for throwing it all away. I think its people like me who hang themselves on tinsel or swallow Christmas tree balls made of glass… you won't have to think about past memories that you're not able to recreate if you're dead.

Little E ran over like I predicted. He had tickets wrapped around his body. He looked so excited. His eyes were my eyes and everything else was Eli. He sat in Eli's lap and started drinking water from a crazy straw. Now is the perfect time for me to ask little E what he wants for Christmas. Probably a life size living dead doll.

"Baby, what do you want mommy to get you for Christmas?"

"I thought you would never ask mommy! I want you to come home with me and daddy and to go to Disney world with me, daddy, Aunt Eliza, Grampy, Uncle Tommy, Uncle Fitz, Kelly, Uncle Adam and Fiona! And I decided I want a little brother and…. A puppy!"

"Oh goodness, that is certainly a… um tall order."

Eli shot me a worried look and then he texted me… "I'll get my dad to watch little E, we…we really need to talk tonight. For real and in private."

"Okay."

Eliza

"Separate rooms?"

"Yes Fitz, I have morals and standards."

"Since when…"

"Ha ha…"

"I know I know…we aren't dating so we can't stay in the same room."

"Exactly."

"Well, then accept my offer to take you on a date and them we will be dating."

"No…"

"Tease."

"Bully."

"I haven't had sex in forever."

"Well then I suggest you rub one out."

"You know you want it too."

"Actually I don't… But I could use some cereal with pickles on the side…yum."

"Fatty."

"Bully."

"I miss you… Why were you hanging out with Wesley?"

"What?"

"The other day."

"Oh, he's a friend of mine. Geez..."

"I don't like that."

"Well that's just too darn bad."

"You're driving me up a wall woman."

"Like I said, it won't be easy."

"You didn't lie."

Eli

"Dad thanks again for this."

"No problem. Me and him are going to chill out, have a few root beers."

"Typical."

"Go talk to Clare. She's been looking depressed lately…"

"Who isn't?"

"Eli…"

"Fine dad fine…:

When I got to the apartment Clare was sitting in her car crying and she popped a pill. I knocked on her window and she jumped. She got out of the car and put the pill bottle back in her purse.

"Pills?"

"Just nerve pills."

"Oh, why were you sitting in the car? You could have just gone on up. You still have a key."

"Well I didn't want to intrude."

"Clare just come on."

We went into the apartment and we sat at the kitchen table. The light above our heads made it feel like an interrogation room. She was looking down at her hands… I decided to start this chat…

"Clare look at me."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"You sound angry."

"Just look at me."

"I'm scared."

"Edwards please look up…"

She wouldn't so I walked around the other side of the table. I grabbed her arms and shook her a little. Forcing her to look at me. She cried out and then looked right in my eyes. Tears were still streaming from her eyes.

"Clare, god I love you."

"I don't deserve it!"

"Why not! Clare why don't you?"

"Because Eli, I messed everything up."

"Yeah you did but… We can fix this Clare, we can fix us but I need to know that I can trust you! I need you to know that you can trust me to talk to me when you're feeling under too much pressure or like you want to do something wild and crazy and stupid. Can I trust you?"

She was too busy sobbing to answer so I shook her again and then she finally just screamed out…

"Yessss!"

"Yesss?"

"Yes."

I dropped to my knees, bringing her out of the chair and onto the floor with me. We embraced each other crying for what seemed like hours. Then when it felt like my knees might bust open I took a deep breath and got off the floor. I pulled Clare up too.

"I wanna come home…"

"We'll move your stuff back tomorrow after therapy."

"Thank you."

"I think it would be better though… if I sleep in Little E's room for the time being… until we get to that point again."

"Okay…"

Clare was still crying and trembling a tiny bit. We hugged again and I kissed her on the cheek. We had some coffee to calm her nerves and then she went back to Darcy's to start packing her things. My father called and told me little E was staying the night with him and that he'd take him to school. As for me, I went to bed.

Adam

Dinner with the twins. Declan and Fiona were a blast to hang out with. Of course, Fiona is always fun to be with in my eyes. She's my… one and only. At least I hope so because it would suck if she wasn't. The bubbly and bud brownies were in heavy rotation and so was the laughter. Fiona went to the restroom and things sobered up for a bit.

"So, Adam… Eliza Goldsworthy. She still with that loser?"

"What loser?"

"Mark Fitzgerald."

"Oh, yeah…they are having a baby."

"She's wasting her life."

"Dude, what made you think of her?"

"I was just…going through some old pictures. We used to hang out you know, before I graduated and then we lost contact mostly, expect for seeing her at a few of Fiona's mixers."

"Oh… Well, she and Fitz aren't officially together…. They broke up because he used to totally beat her up and say mean things to her and she got fed up…she's probably just being nice to him now because he got shot and almost died."

"Wow, I've been gone a while what happened? Drunken bar fight?"

"No….Owen…"

"Man hey it's okay… I can get the scoop later. Now tell me, you think she'll go for me?"

"Um… maybe?"

"Give me her number and we will see."

"She's going to have my head on a platter."

I gave Declan the number and his smiled was as wide as a jack o lantern's… Even though Owen is dead now, and I know there's no chance he will ever be able to hurt me again hearing his name makes me go into a dark place. Like merely hearing about him takes me to the most concentrated depths of my own personal hell.

Fiona emerged from the bathroom and she looked chipper. I snapped out of my sudden bought of depression and we finished off the brownies and the champagne. Then it was like somebody turned off all our light switches because we went to sleep.

Eliza

"Please stay the night? Kelly misses you when you are gone."

"Well then I'll take Kelly with me."

"But, she misses me too."

"Fitz, I'm not staying the night. Those big brown eyes won't work."

"Please? I bought you underwear."

"Well… it is late. And you are begging…. Only because Kelly needs me."

"Yes!"

"But I'm taking the bed… you're sleeping on the couch."

"Why can't you take the couch?"

"Because I'm six and a half months pregnant that's why."

"Well I got shot."

"The doctors said you are fine now."

"Fine…take the bed."

"If you promise not to try and touch me you can….sleep in the bed."

"Knew I'd wear you down."

"Don't get used to it."

When Fitz was going to get Kelly dressed for bedtime I got a text… "Hi Eliza, this is Declan, remember me? I was thinking it's been forever since we've hung out. Tomorrow at the Straight Ahead Café?" I texted back "yes"… it's good to have friends right?

**Drop a review so will know how I'm doing. If you like it, if you don't like it… Those sorts of things…If you don't tell me I won't . Thanks =)**


	11. Chapter 11

Eliza

I met Declan at the café and so far the conversation has been pleasant however… I know his game. He's nice and all but he's trying to pull me into a relationship and well… I'm not looking for anything new. I haven't even taken Fitz back yet and even Wesley knows he won't get past the friend zone with me… Time to break the news to Declan.

"So you should come and tour New York before you have the baby."

"Sounds fun but I don't have that type of cash."

"I'll pay."

"Declan, this isn't a cup of coffee, this is a trip to New York."

"I know that…"

"You know I'm not looking for a relationship don't you?"

"It was worth a shot trying… Adam told me you would probably reject me."

"Declan geez we can still be friends. Why are you in such a rush anyway?"

"Didn't you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"About the soon to be Mrs. Holly J Bhandari."

"Oh… that? Declan, Holly J was high school."

"So was Fitz."

"But we lasted after high school and we are having a baby."

"Guess… old habits die hard."

"All this time, you've been saving yourself for Holly J?"

"Maybe."

"Don't take this personal but…"

"I know it's pathetic."

"Declan honey, you need to move on. There are other nice girls in the world. You're about to graduate from college and you're filthy stinking rich. Plus you're handsome… The girls will come."

"Thanks mom, Fiona, Dad and Grandma Jane."

"They are right."

"Possibly so."

After the pleasant outing I went home. My dad was grilling out. Smells like…mmmm pork chops and chicken with hot dogs! Yum-O. I went to the porch where he was flipping a burger on the grill.

"Hey baby doll. How was your day?"

"It was good."

"Not hanging with Fitz tonight?"

"Nah… I just decided to come on home."

"Well, I made baked beans. And coleslaw."

"What's with the summer food?"

"Little E made me promise to grill out today."

"He's too spoiled for his own good."

"Well it's our own fault. I don't even feel bad. He's my grandkid. I'll spoil little Timothy rotten too when he comes."

"No doubt about that."

"Well get on in the house before you get a cold. Don't want you going back to the hospital."

"Okay dad."

I went in the house and sat on the couch. Tommy must still be at work. Little E is here though, watching Nightmare before Christmas. He turned around and saw me, only to come running and sit on the couch beside me.

"Hi Aunt Eliza."

"Hey Little E. What's up man?"

"I'm stayed the night with Grampy and Uncle Tommy. Uncle Tommy is silly."

"Quite. And that's cool man."

"Your bed is comfy."

"So you are the little goldilocks who didn't make the bed…"

"Yup. How is Timothy today?"

"He's good."

"Tell him I said hi."

"I think he hears you."

"Mommy and Daddy are coming over!"

"Cool, the more the merrier."

"Mommy lives with us again!"

"That's great little E, you're happy aren't you?"

"Yeah! Now she can beat up daddy when he scares me with the mask."

"What mask?"

"It's a scary mask! She can kick his butt."

"I'm sure she will."

It was funny hearing about little E's traumas. Eli always has had a passion for scaring the shit out of people. I remember when I was little he used to always do little mean things like… Lowering fake bugs on me when I was on the toilet and hiding under my bed with a mask and foam fingers and pretended to be a monster, then pulling me by the ankles… He used to hide in the closet too. It's a wonder I'm not more traumatized that I am. Poor Little E.

Clare texted me and asked me to meet her at Alli and Bianca's. Little E wanted to ride along so I bought him. When we arrived he got spoiled and cascaded with kisses. All the ladies love him. What can I say? He's adorable. After receiving the love and spoiling he got one of the cupcakes Alli had sitting out and went in their computer room to watch TV while we talked.

"Clare what is up?"

"I have good news."

"I know, Eli let you move back in. Little E told me."

"Yeah, I'm also coming on the trip and…I've missed you."

"Clare what are you talking about?"

"Things were different between us when Eli and I were all spotty."

"They were?"

"I don't know…"

"Clare you're being weird. Have you been drinking?"

"Yes she has… She finished off a bottle of bubbly."

"Well Bianca I told you not to leave it out, hot bubbly is bad bubbly."

"Well Alli, I was planning on having a glass myself until Saint Clare downed it all."

"Merry Christmas everybody!"

"Does anybody know why she called me here?"

"She needs to get back to your dad's house for dinner…. Of course she can't drive."

"But of course. Clare please tell me you are not an obvious drunk."

"I'm hot… I mean I'm not…"

She was giggling and hiccupping. I decided against letting her go to dinner. Instead I took her to she and Eli's place while Alli and Bianca watched Little E. When I got there Eli was in the middle of a mean ass Zumba workout. Who knew?

"Eliza and Clare? Wh…"

"She had a bit too much to drink at Bianca and Alli's… I don't think she's fit for dinner."

"Eli! Hi my lovely warrior man! I am so glad I can (hiccup) stay here again… I just…I'm so happy I could squawk."

"Squawk? Okay yeah… Clare… We are going to lie you down on the bed okay. You just rest okay?"

"Okiee Dokie! Jokie Pokie!"

I tried hard not to laugh at Clare being all drunk, but I've never seen her so…drunk before. She latched onto Eli's shirt and wouldn't let go, eventually she did though when she started to go to sleep.

"No more alcohol for her ever."

"Don't tell me, tell her."

"Where's little E?"

"At Bianca and Alli's…"

"Ha... I'm not surprised. He said he's going to grow up and marry Bianca if he doesn't' marry Mindy Middleton-Guthrie."

"That's cute."

"Kid has high hopes."

"Well, I'm going to pick him up for dinner… You know he made dad grill out in the dead of winter."

"Yeah, I'll be over. I'm gonna see if Clare sobers up enough to come."

"Okay."

I went and got little E who was nestled in between Bianca and Alli when I returned. He was pretending to be shy and quiet while Bianca was asking him questions. Yeah, he's trying to reel her in.

"Hi guys, I'm here to pick up the little lady's man."

"Aw, but we were just having fun."

"Don't worry Bianca, I will come to visit you and Alli or I will call you sometime."

"Okay."

When I got him hooked into his booster seat and seat belt it was on to my father's house. When I got back all the food was done and Eli was sitting on the couch with a more joyful less drunk Clare. Wonder how he sobered her up that quick?

Dinner commenced and everybody seemed happy. As soon as I fixed my burger Fitz came through the door with Kelly and Ms. F behind him. I greeted them all and Kelly made me pick her up so I did and she laid her head on my chest.

"Geez Eliza you weren't even going to invite us."

"Sorry, I didn't know in enough time. Dad must have called?"

"Yeah he did."

"How was your day?"

"Well I was worried that you and Declan were making smooch face but…"

"Jealous?"

Eli

Clare is drunk. Though I wonder why she got this drunk, it is kind of hilarious so hear her drunken hiccups. Adam and Fiona came to my dad's winter time grill out as well as Darcy and Peter. Though she wasn't acting out everyone still noticed that she was drunk. My dad broke the ice.

"Clare, I didn't know you drank but I know you're drunk…"

"(hiccup)… correct… bubbly"

"Wise choice."

"Thanks Fiona! I was (hiccup) celebrating!"

"Mommy, daddy, what is drunk? I wanna get drunk too!"

"No little E! Getting drunk is only for grownups."

"But daddy!

"No buts, in fact, mommy is going to be on punishment when we get back home. No TV for a week."

"But Eli!"

"But dad!"

"No buts Clare, Little E… zip it and eat your food."

"Yes sir."

"Okay."

Wow, I feel really in charge. At least I did until I realized that everyone was laughing. This was a happy day. Clare moved back in. I got to spend some quality time with my kid and well, we definitely made a memory.

When we got home Clare had eaten, drank some water and had a little snooze so she was substantially sober now… Though she was starting to feel the not so bubbly side of the champagne.

"God my head!"

"Well, that's what you get."

"My head!"

"No sympathy here."

"Where is the baby?"

"He's sleeping… He decided he wanted the top bunk."

"I knew he would."

"He's really excited."

"Of course he is. It's like having a sleepover with an older version of him."

"We don't act that much alike."

"Little E might be a little less stubborn. You never would have been in the Christmas pageant, but he compromised."

"Tomorrow is the big night for him."

"I know… It's the big day for us. Exams... ouch gosh… I feel like I'm dying."

"Well Clare, since we have the final finals tomorrow… I will help you nurse your hangover, but still no TV."

"You're serious?"

"As pie."

"Well pie isn't serious."

"I'm one serious piece of pie Clare."

I wanted to kiss her then but… I decided it would have been too soon. Instead I just gave her some pain pills and some seltzer to soothe her tummy when it started to do somersaults. Then I went and got on the bottom bunk of me and Little E's bunk beds. I thought he was sleeping but he was just pretending… He is like me.

"Daddy."

"Little E, you should be asleep."

"But I'm not sleepy… Tomorrow is the Christmas party."

"So I've heard… and had to send candy for it."

"I was wondering… do you think Mindy would kiss me if I carried some Mistletoes?"

"Mistletoe? I don't know buddy... It's worth a shot."

"Okay… hey daddy?"

"Huh?"

"Why aren't you sleeping with mommy?"

"Because I'm not, don't you want me here?"

"Yeah but… it's kind of weird."

"Geez tell me how you really feel."

"I'm scared up here!"

"Ugghh… come on down."

"Yay!"

Little E came down and then I done something I don't think I do enough of… I had a conversation with him, about his little life, and little love interests and little… problems. He's got a pretty complicated situation going on and I don't know why. But I probably had a complicated life at his age too with my little situations, I just don't remember it. He talked himself to sleep and then I went to sleep too.

Clare

When my head stopped hurting and I almost got married to the toilet I remembered why I didn't drink. Even if it was to celebrate, but the champagne just tasted so good… Too bad I'm horrible at taking my liquor.

I went to check on the two Eli's. I cracked the door open and saw them both sleeping on the bottom bunk. Little E must have gotten scared. I couldn't help but laugh at them though because they are just like twins right now. They both have on a white tank top with black pajama pants and they are both sleeping on their left side with one arm above their head. I took a picture of it… That's too cute for words.

After snapping pictures I went to bed and prayed that things would be great from now on. No more mess ups from me. Tons of forgiveness coming from Eli and Little E and infinite happiness for us all. Sadly though, not all prayers are answered...But for good reason I'm sure. I heard Eli's phone going off. Eliza was on the other end and she was talking very loudly. I could hear it all.

"Come to the hospital now! Dad had a heart attack!"

"What? What are you talking about he was fine!"

"Eli, he… When I, he and Tommy were watching TV he just fell to the floor holding his chest and passed out! When they got here they said he had a heart attack. HE's still alive but he's not awake! Just get here!"

"Fine I'm getting dressed! Just….. Oh god!"

Eli busted out of the room. I stood to the side. He knew I was listening evidently so he didn't tell me what happened. I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know what he would say back. He went into the bedroom and threw on some clothes and shoes. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was filled with worry. The only thing I could manage to say was:

"Call me when you find something out…"

"He just nodded and went on his way."

Eli

It doesn't make sense. My dad wasn't in bad shape or bad health! He wasn't fat or anything. Why did he have a heart attack? Eliza, Tommy and I sat in the waiting room anticipating the news. We all hoped it would be good but expected the worst. God, my dad has always been there for me. If he's not anymore then… I don't know what I'll do. He just... he just needed a vacation and a vacation was coming… Why couldn't he have just held on until then?

It seemed like a lifetime had passed until the doctor came out finally. He didn't look saddened, in fact he look optimistic. We all gathered around him for the news. Wonder what he'll say?

"Well, it seems that Mr. Goldsworthy did not have a heart attack. He suffered from a very very very, strong case of gas. See, gas travels and sometimes it can make a person feel like they are having a heart attack. Sometimes people have been known to pass out from the pain. We will keep him here for observation for a few days but he's alive and kicking now so I'm certain he will be fine once all the gas is released."

"Thanks doctor."

After that moment we all laughed and shared a family hug, then we went back to see my father who was letting them rip left and right. I'd rather smell farts half the night than lose my father… Thank god it was just gas. We told my dad how much we loved him and how scared we were… I haven't noticed but it hasn't been just the four of us in a while. My dad assured us that it was okay to go home and so we did.

When I got there Clare was sitting up and so was little E. They were both crying but Clare was trying to comfort little E. When I closed and locked the door they both ran to me and cried. I picked little E up and hugged him. I hugged Clare and kissed her forehead.

"Is Grampy going to die Daddy?"

"No, Grampy is just fine. He didn't have a heart attack. It was just some really powerful gas."

"Eli, are you serious?"

"Yeah, that doctors said it. They said he's healthy and he passed out because of the pain of the gas traveling."

"That's a relief. I don't know what we would have done without your dad."

"I don't know either Clare. He's the only dad I've ever known…and if you want to get technical he's the only mom I've ever had either."

Of course I knew I was lucky to have my dad, but this has really put things in perspective for me. So for Christmas I don't want anything because I have it all. I have my family and my life is starting to come back together. Although, a few tickets to the sold out Dead Hand show would be nice.

**Hey people, please leave a review..you know let me know what you think ! =) Thanks**


	12. Chapter 12

Adam

Little E stood amongst the other children looking more like a little troublemaker than an angel. When the look and smirk of mischief grew in his face it quickly disappeared when he saw Clare's threatening scowl on her face. He then straightened up to join to other little cherubs in singing joy to the world… Fiona and I just watched laughing. I haven't been to a Christmas pageant since I was eight… I had to play The Virgin Mary. Well, Gracie did at least. There was only issue with that because I wanted to play one of the three wise men.

As the pageant came to a close the entire Goldsworthy, Edwards, Torres, Coyne, Fitzgerald, Stone clan stood up applauding out little unlikely angel. I must say, being a godfather has been rewarding. I get the benefit of hanging out with a cool kid, but I don't actually have to raise him. It's awesome.

After the show everyone went to Mr. Goldsworthy's house for the annual Goldsworthy Christmas bash. After all, there is so much to celebrate. Little E's acting debut. Mr. Goldsworthy not having a heart attack last night. Surviving another semester of college and…the mending of something broken… Well for everyone else. I was celebrating something more… personal. My preparation therapy for the process starts in two weeks… I will get it up until after the entire surgery and all. I'm excited.

Fi and I celebrated with everyone else. It was fun and like everyone has to know, those Goldsworthy's can throw a party. However soon she was off with the ladies and the guys and I talked.

"So Fitz, if I were you…"

"If you were me what?"

"I'd watch out."

"Why?"

"Fiona's brother Declan has it in for your girl Eliza."

"She said they are just friends."

"That's what she thinks but… the guy is effing predatory. In short Eliza is a naïve scrumptious looking Gazelle and well Declan is Scar from the Lion King… He's using pity to get her on his side…. I just thought you should know since we are cool and all."

"Yeah thanks."

"No problem."

"Adam, so how goes your troubles with Mrs. Torres?"

"Eli I wish I could tell you. She still won't speak to me directly and she still totally hates Fiona."

"Well…. If you ever need a parent you can share my dad."

"I already do, dude thanks."

After the party ended we helped clean up and then it was back to our home… Fiona's loft. When we got there Declan was sitting on the couch writing in a journal or something. Probably planning something… If he were red headed and maybe a little sluttier he'd remind me of Sebastian from Cruel Intentions. Fiona went to change into something more comfortable and I plopped down on the couch. I'm full and I feel sloshy and lazy now. I could really use a nap and then a night of watching some old sitcom on TV.

"So how was the party Adam. You and my sister seem to have had a good time."

"Yeah it was fun. You know those Goldsworthy's, always good for fun and adventure."

"Speaking of fun…"

"You're not asking me about Eliza again are you?"

"Adam why wouldn't I?"

"Because she's pretty settled and she's having a baby!"

"Baby scmaby! So I sweep her off her feet, play stepdad for a few years and then send the kid to boarding school if it's a trouble maker."

"You're messed up in the head. Just to let you know, I told Fitz you were plotting to get with Eliza."

"And?"

"And… now he knows and he'll stop it."

"Adam… Fitz will be a challenge to get rid of but he's hardly a threat."

Fiona came out of the room and smacked Declan in the back of the head. He looked up at her with a scowl on his face. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head at him.

"Declan I listened to everything you said. You sound like a fucking animal! How dare you! Eliza is my friend and I'm telling her everything!"

"Buzz kill."

"Villain!"

"Look you don't have to tell her. I do really enjoy her companionship. If I promise to be on my best behavior will you not tell her?"

"You only get once chance and then I'm letting the shit hit the fan!"

"Fine fine fine."

"Yeah you tell him Fi!"

"Adam and I will be watching you Declan."

I love it when Fiona gets a kick ass, take no prisoners attitude. It's so hot!

Fitz

"Don't cry Eliza."

"I'm scared! You even said yourself th…"

"I didn't mean it. I trust you. You've been taking your meds and keeping things under control so far. I'm sure when Timothy comes you'll still be okay. I'll help you. You know I will."

"You will?"

"Of course."

"Promise."

"Swear."

"Okay…"

I guess she's subject to a few breakdowns. She's scared that she will have a bipolar freak out when the baby is born or something. I had to convince her that she'd be okay. I will help her be okay. I decided that then wasn't the right time to discuss Declan with her. That scheming little snake. I knew there was a reason I didn't want her hanging out with him. Of course that is with all guys generally even Wesley but I know Wesley won't try anything. He's still kind of scared of me from high school. Declan however is a different story…. We are in a way equals. He has money and education for what he lacks in muscle and brawn and well me… I have brawn and muscle where I lack money and education. I'm secure for Eliza but Declan is a million more times secure. I get all the bills paid…but he can pay her bills, get her into Harvard grad, pay for it and then take her to France for lunch in one sitting. I still haven't even earned all her trust back… So this means I'm going to really have to pull out all the stops. Telling her to stop hanging with Declan would seem like I was controlling her… No, I'll let her go on with her life and their "friendship" but I'll be better than Declan… besides I know her better.

Clare

Tonight has been eventful. Little E was adorable as an angel tonight. I feel pretty good about my exam grades and well Eli is back in bed with me… However Little E is too. The little bugger suckered Eli back into bed by saying that he was scared and wanted to sleep with me but he wanted Eli here too. The kid is slick. I must give him that much. Little E went to sleep nestled in between us then it was just Eli and I awake and looking at each other.

"Some angel he was tonight huh?"

"Yeah."

"You know he'll never forgive you for that."

"I know. But it's worth it to have embarrassing photos and video of him to show his girlfriends when he older."

"So mean."

"I know…"

"He got me back in here. I don't think he likes me sleeping in his room."

"Well… What if you had to start sharing a room with your dad?"

"I get it."

"You could sleep in here I mean it's not like I will take advantage of you or anything."

"Ha, as if you could St. Clare. I taught you all you know. All you knew how to ride was a bike when I first met you."

"Hey hey…language."

"What? He's sleeping."

"So you think."

"Yeah whatever… I mean since I know you won't try and rape me or anything. I guess I could sleep in here so that Little E can have his privacy again."

I won this small war. Eli and I now share a bed again. Piece by piece we are rebuilding. We are reigniting the flame that my foolishness blew out and I love the way it warms me up inside. Eli and I drifted off to sleep after making jokes about each other and both placing a kiss on little E's chubby cheeks.

Eli

I woke up in the middle of the night. I'm starving. So I peed and then went into the kitchen. I started making myself some eggs… I don't know why but I wanted some. That is one thing I can cook right. As I scrambled away Clare snuck up behind me.

"Midnight snack?"

"Yeah…"

"I can't sleep either."  
I threw two more eggs in an scrambled them too and then we had breakfast in the middle of the night. She looked a million times happier than a month ago and I will admit it… It feels great to have her back. She might not be a Saint but she'll always be St. Clare in my eyes.

**Please leave a review. Let me know if you like it or if you didn't or whatever because I don't know if you don't tell me. Love ya =)**


	13. Chapter 13

Eliza

Poor Declan. He really has some psychological issues. I think he should see a therapist or something I'm afraid he may hurt himself. If I didn't have a hot date with my Fitzybear tonight I would invite him to dinner, but I have plans… and I'm so pumped! I even got a new pair of maternity jeans!

"Declan, being single doesn't mean being lonely. You have friends and family who love you."

"Name a few then."

"Fiona for one. Mr. and Mrs. Coyne. Me… Declan we all care about you and want to see you happy."

"You care?"

"Of course. Would I be at this coffee shop if I didn't? Declan you're a good friend of mine. You're a good friend and a great guy."

"Thanks Eliza. Hey, I didn't know if I would see you again before Christmas so I got you something… Here…"

He pulled a velvet case from the inside pocket of his blazer. He opened it. They were pearls. Now… call me crazy but ever since college I have taken a liking to pearls and up until now I've been faking it… They were beautiful and…

"Declan they are beautiful but I can't take this gift. It's too much."

"It's nothing Eliza. It's… lunch money. I will be offended if you don't accept my gift."

"Well…if you put it that way…. I guess my hands are tied. Thank you Declan."

"You're welcomed."

That was really nice of him. I guess gifts like these really are nothing to the Coynes. After I left Declan it was on to get ready for my date with Fitz. When I got to my house Alli and Bianca were sitting on either side of Tommy… He looked comfortable with them flirting with him.

"Alright Tommy stop taking advantage of my poor innocent friends."

"I was attacked little sis… Honest."

"Whatever. Hi guys."

"Hi hey girl. We bought the jeans and some other cute stuff you are sure to love, now about that ponytail puff."

We went upstairs and they started working on me while I rubbed my belly. Timothy is so frisky today. I'd rather him be frisky than still though. I can't wait until he's here so I can hold him and hug him. Hopefully he will have a family to be born into with a mom and a dad…plus his older sister. I drifted off to sleep while Alli and Bianca done my hair and makeup. They tapped me on the shoulder and I woke up. I looked in the mirror… Impressive work. My hair was spiraled in bouncy curls and my makeup was natural yet glamorous. I went into the room and saw the outfit. It was jeans with w slinky black top that fit around my belly perfectly and showed the right amount of cleavage. I pair the look with knee length boots and a gray pea coat. I looked hot, what can I say?

By the time I was done getting dressed and Alli and Bianca made me promise to give them details, Fitz was pulling up in the driveway. I stayed upstairs until he rang the doorbell. Tommy answered and then he called me down. I came down the stairs and Fitz was dressed in a black shirt with jeans and…the pea coat I got him last Christmas. We sort of match I guess.

I bid goodbye to my brother and my friends and then it was on to the Fitz's car. He opened the door for me and helped me in. How sweet of him. I wonder where we are going tonight.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Really?"

"Yeah… so just ride. How was your day? How's the baby today?"

"He's um… excited and I'm fine. Thanks for asking. How was your day?"

"Work was work. I'm glad you finally agreed to come on this date with me tonight."

"Well… I didn't have anything to do. I figured why not."

We pulled up to some Mexican place. He knows I love Mexican food! It's so effing yummy! We walked in and there was a live Mariachi band playing. It seemed so authentic and the smell of the food in the air was tantalizing. I'm glad I'm past the morning sickness phase.

We got seated… too bad I'm too big to fit into a booth. I love booths but Timothy is getting so huge that… it makes sitting in one not only a challenge but impossibility. I guess chairs will do just as well.

I ordered a burrito with rice and refried beans. Fitz got a quesadilla. We talked while we ate and then once the main course was done with… we ordered fried ice cream and shared it. I laughed harder than I have laughed in a while and I found myself forgetting that I was pregnant (until he kicked) I forgot that I was in college and twenty years old. I forgot that I was a step mom… At that moment… I was fifteen again and he was sixteen, sitting in the Dot laughing and talking after school. I started to laugh at myself when I thought about how mixed up I was.

"What?"

"Just thinking about when we were kids."

"Oh… What I'd give to be able to be sixteen again for a day."

"You are sixteen Fitz."

"Then you are fifteen."

"We have gotten old."

"No we aren't… We are young Eliza. Twenty and twenty one are still super young. You just stopped being a teenager last year."

"Uggg now I feel young!"

"This is why I love you. You want to be old and young at the same time."

"Well I love you too."

"You do! You mean Eliza Goldsworthy loves me?"

"Shut up!"

"You know I'm not going to… But I have something to ask you."

"What's up?"

"If I were to ask you to be my wife… What would you say?"

"I'd say I need a week to think about things."

"I knew you'd say that. I got you this ring. Wear it and see if it grows on you…"

O...Okay. It's beautiful."

"Not as pretty as you though but I done the best I could."

He came over to my side of the table and stooped down beside me. He wiped the one tear that streamed down my cheek and then he took my face in his hands and pulled me into a kiss. I hugged him and that was when I realized people were applauding.

We finished our meal before paying and leaving. The ring doesn't feel so bad on my finger. In fact I kind of like it being there… It's… grown on me already.

Clare

Today has been a beautiful day. Eli took off work to stay the day with me and Little E. We caught a movie and then we went to the park. Though there was a little snow on the ground and it was cold, Little E insisted on playing at the playground. We played with him and then went to the Dot for hot chocolate. After drinking to warm liquid we all hopped into Morty, Little E strapped himself securely into the backseat and it was on to Adam and Fiona's for dinner. Fiona is actually cooking; this is something I have to see for myself.

When we arrived the aroma of cooking food was in the air. Adam greeted us and then I went into the kitchen to chat with Fiona who was putting the finishing touches on the meal. We hugged and then started in on the small talk.

"So what is up hun? How go things with you and the dark one?"

"Things are great Fiona. He… is great."

"That's wonderful! Things with me and Adam are awesome… I mean last night Adam gave me the biggest orgasm of my life!"

"You sure don't mind giving the deets do you?"

"Are you kidding? I'm telling the world!"

"More power to you."

Well it's good to know that Adam and Fiona have a healthy sex life. Lately I've been having dreams about Eli and I. I want him so bad that it hurts but I'm waiting until Eli is ready again. I personally wouldn't mind if he were ready right now. I just want him to…. Smack me across the face and slam me against the wall and touch all the sensitive parts of me mercilessly until neither of us can take the pressure and then I want him to just…..do me hard! I want Eli... I was so caught up in my fantasy that I along didn't recognize little E pulling my sweater.

"Mommmmy!"

"Sorry baby what's up?"

"Can I sit in your lap?"

"Sure… come on. Tired of listening to Daddy and uncle Adam be silly?"

"No… I don't know. Where is m y sister?"

"Huh?"

"You said that on my birthday you and daddy were getting me a little brother or sister."

"Oh honey… Daddy fibbed."

"Oh."

"Little E I may have some more of those French candies you like in the candy jar in the sunroom."

"Really? Yay! I love those French candies! Thanks Aunt Fiona!"

Little E ran upstairs to get the candy. Adam then came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Fiona's waist. He kissed her neck and they started in on the whispering and giggling. I went into the living room and sat on the couch beside Eli. He looked and me and smiled before laying his arm across me. I put my head on his shoulder.

"Through with the girl talk?"

"Yeah, Adam came to… get things warmed up for later tonight no doubt."

"Yeah he said the neighbors came knocking last night."

"Lucky them."

"What?"

"Nothing…"

"Clare remember we have that honestly policy. No matter what."

"Ok…well first make sure little E isn't lurking."

"Area scanned….He's not around."

"Eli I wnt you. I been having these reoccurring dreams where you are just rough and cruel and it should hurt but it feels so awesome! Eli… that's what I want."

"Wow. In due time Clare. We will uh…see what we can do about that."

"Well do something fast. I've been thinking of taking advantage of you."

"As if you could Edwards. You know you are the…vulnerable one."

"Ha very funny."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes. Then Eli looked around and he grabbed me by my hair. I shrieked in surprise only to have him cover my mouth before any sound could escape. He pulled me into the bathroom and kicked the door closed, locking it behind him. Yes! He pushed me to the wall and he started kissing me roughly, he then bit my lip, drawing blood. He pulled my jeans down roughly and smacked my core. This is so hot! I tried to touch him but he smacked my hands away.

"I'm in control Edwards."

"Okay."

"Okay Mr. Goldendick."

"Ha ha…"

He pressed on my throbbing clitoris, making me jump…

"Now say it."

"Mr. Goldendick."

"Excellent."

I thought I was going to explode. Eli was pulling my hair and biting me, scratching me and slapping me in all the right places. He inserted two fingers inside me and started moving them in the right places.

"Do you want to cum?"

"Yes Mr. Goldendick."

"Then beg for it."

"Please?"

"You can beg better than that.

"Please Mr. Goldendick."

Suddenly something we didn't count on happened. Someone knocked on the door.

"Aw come on. I have to tinkle!"

"Little E, I thought you peed at the Dot."

"Well I had some of Aunt Fiona's Perrier! Come on daddy! I gotta go!"

"Fine…just give me a second."

"Okay."

Eli pulled my jeans back up and washed his hands….

"Guess you didn't want it bad enough."

"I feel incomplete Eli! Just really quick make me…cum."

"If you can handle dinner and dessert then we will see."

"Great."

We walked out of the bathroom and little E ran in. I feel like we've just done something illegal. I feel kind of dirty but in a good way. We went into the kitchen and helped Adam and Fiona set the table. Then we called little E and we had a nice dinner. Fiona can cook, who knew? After the main course came desert and then some small talk with our friends. After that it was back to our place. I love having dinner with them but my skin was sensitive to touch and I was anxious so when we made it back to the apartment I was nearly rejoiceful.

I got little E bathed and off to bed. He was tired anyway. Then I took a shower myself… My body was starting to calm down and I was letting the steam relax me. Then someone turned the lights out. This is wonderful. Just great.

"Eli! Please turn the lights back on."

"Time to beg Clare."

"Eli I can't see! I'm…scared."

"So."

"Eli come on."

He chuckled and the next thing I know I was being pushed to the wall of the shower, directly under the spray. He touched me all over, roughly. He ran his thumbs across my nipples, hardening them. I felt myself get less scared and annoyed and more back into the game. He turned us around and bent me over roughly and then his hardened erection glided into me. I moaned out loudly and I heard him suck in air through his teeth. He grabbed my hair and pulled me up so that his chest was molded together with my back. He roughly moved his manhood in and out of me. Also he used one hand to hold my arms behind my back while he used to other to rub my clit. The feeling was painful yet pleasureful. Tears of confusion, mostly orgasmic bliss streaked down my face as I took each thrust to my core. I feel it coming… the big melt down. I was almost there when he pulled out and turned me around. He lifted one of my legs and entered me again. It only took a few seconds for me to reach my boiling point again… and then I boiled over…blissfully while looking into his green eyes. Eli boiled over not long after me and when he did we both collapsed in the tub. The spray still coming down on us. I sat in his lap and wrapped my legs around him while he hugged me to pull me closer. We stayed that way for a good hour… Kissing and glaring into each other's eyes. I'm surprised the hot water didn't run out.

**Drop a review please peeps... Thanks ahead of time! Love ya =D**


	14. Chapter 14

Adam

The flight was finally over. You'd think I would be used to flying by now, dating Fiona and all but I'm not and the thought of being that high in the air makes me nervous and it makes my tummy hurt… I'd welcomed a bellyache over my ears popping though. That is pain I don't need.

We stepped out of the airport and instantly I knew the pain of the plane ride had been worth it. Hello Florida. It was warm and the breeze felt pleasant. Why haven't I already gotten dual citizenship and moved here? We picked up the rental bus and then went to the condo the hotel we were staying at. It was the Hard Rock Hotel.

Little E was so excited. He was bouncing around. Well at least I think it was from excitement, it might be from sugar. I somehow feel like Fiona was feeding him little candies throughout the flight but I can't prove a thing.

We got checked in and we went to our own rooms. I could use a nap. I fell back on the fluffy bed and it was like lying in a cloud. Fiona lay down gently beside me and kissed me on the cheek. I wrapped my arms around her and held her.

"This is going to be so much fun Adam."

"I know right… Little E is so excited. He's making Clare and Eli call and see what park Mickey will be in tomorrow."

"How cute. Clare and Eli won't have any private time with him stirring."

"Well actually Little E is rooming with Mr. Goldsworthy and Tommy."

"Man cave."

"For sure."

After a little chat I found myself drifting off to sleep.

Clare

"And then we can go to the beach, and I can pet a jelly fish and ride on the back of a shark! Can I take home a dolphin mom?"

"No little E and you cannot pet jelly fish or ride on the back of a shark either. Gosh you're so adventurous that it scares me."

"Mama, it will be fun!"

"Eli!"

"Clare let him have his…high hopes. We are going to the beach. My mom is going to meet us there in like five or six hours."

"How will this play out with your dad and all?"

"They are civil towards each other."

"Oh. That's great… I'm going to get to meet your mom."

"Who's mom mama?"

"Daddy's mom."

"Daddy you have a mom?"

"Yeah I do little E. your grandma."

"Oh. Okay, but are we still going to the beach?"

"Yeah…"

"Yay!"

I tried calming little E down but it was no use. I just let him jump on the other bed while Eli and I took a nap on the other. He finally wore down and I felt him come and lie between me and Eli. He went to sleep too.

A few hours later we woke up refreshed. I showered and put on a bikini with a sundress to cover up until we got to the beach. First though, everyone was meeting in the restaurant for dinner.

We had to have two large tables put together…. That's how we roll. I looked around and everyone seemed so happy. It's a vacation so I would expect that. I looked over to Eliza and Fitz who were taking turns tickling Kelly. Every so often they looked into each other's eyes and smiled. I guess things are back on this time.

"Clare?"

"Eli?"

"If I get… this mile high apple pie with ice cream, you will split it with me right?"

"Sure. Since when do you share your food though?"

"Adam told me I was getting fat again… He called me lard ass."

"Adam."

"Madam?"

"Why are you calling Eli fat?"

"I'm just messing with Porky Pig."

"Adam stop messing with Eli. He's sensitive about his love handles."

"Clare thanks for helping…not!"

Everyone laughed and then the eating and laughing commenced. After all plates were cleared and all bellies were full it was time to go to the beach. We all piled into the rental and the GPA led the way. When we arrived we found a parking space and we ran to the sand. Little E and I let the wet sand squish between our toes and the water hit our ankles. He had on these little Speedos. I tried to get him to find some more… modest swim attire but he insisted on people being able to see his trim toned buns.

After about an hour at the beach Eli disappeared. He came back ten minutes later with this hot dirty blonde. This can't be his mom can it? She looks like a supermodel…. I hope it's his mom.

"Everyone, this is my mom Leslie. Leslie, this is my girlfriend Clare, your grandson Little E, my sister Eliza and her boyfriend Fitz, my best buddy Adam and his girlfriend Fiona and….you know everyone else."

"Well hi everybody! Oh Deaglan it's been years!"

"You look good Leslie."

"You don't look bad yourself… Is this Tommy?"

"Hi Leslie."

"Well hey there little boy! You grew up to be so handsome!"

"Thanks."

Everything seemed to be in order. Eli seemed happy and there was no tension in the air. Little E took an instantaneous liking to her because she bought him a slushy from the concession stand. She and Eli talked and caught up on life so far… Not that I was listening, I just happened to hear it.

When the sun started to set and the sea fleas started to bite we all went to a little Jamaican restaurant not far from the beach. We got outside tables since we were all sandy. The food was amazing and the warm breeze was euphoric. Everyone was laughing and talking and if I'm not mistaken, I think Mr. Goldsworthy and… Leslie may have hit it off again. They were giving each other that lubby dubby look.

When dinner was finished we dropped Eli's mom off at her car and then it was back to the hotel. After I showered I collapsed onto the bed. Then I rested a moment and I went and said goodnight to my little boy. He was already asleep though, so I just kissed his chubby little cheek and went back to my room where Eli was still in the shower. I took the moment to change into something sexy… Black and leather one piece lingerie thingy with a cut out crotch. I released my hair from the ponytail it was in, it flew all over the place. Then I sat on the bed and I waited.

He came out of the bathroom and he was surprised to see me… waiting for him. He dropped his towel, not bothering to put on any bottoms. I haven't had sex since last week in the shower. I think I deserve a little… I don't know…treat? After all I did have to answer all Little E's questions and scrap up batteries for his new toys. Christmas was great but the holidays are tiring…

"Where'd this getup come from?"

"I'll never tell."

"Ah ha… Well there are ways to fix that."

He looking in his bag and got out two belts. He looped them around my hands, and then around the knobs in the closet door. My arms were suspended above my head, like I was his prisoner. He broke one of his razors and took out the blade, and then he proceeded to cut the skimpy leather lingerie off me. I was dripping with excitement at the prospect that with just a little too much pressure he could cut me. It was so thrilling!

Once I was naked he began the torture. He pulled another belt from his bag and he put my leg above my head. He held it there with the belt. This is going to be so kinky. I'm surprised I'm not in any pain. He then pulled a tiny vibrator from the nightstand. I think it was disposable but who knows? He placed it to my clitoris and I jumped. I leaned against the mirror trying to escape but there was nowhere to go. My leg trembling and I thought my knee might buckle, but it didn't. While he held the vibrator on my clit he took his middle and index finger, letting the glide inside me and press on my g-spot vigorously while he took turns with both my nipples, licking them, then blowing on them and nibbling them. I was going crazy. When the pressure started to rise I looked at him he just smiled while the results of my orgasm squirted him right in the face. He kissed my core and then he made a trail of kisses down my thighs before making his way back up to my center and helping himself. I was still sensitive but Eli's tongue can never feel bad.

When I came for the second time I felt like my body was in shakes, in a good way of course. Even my sight and hearing improved! Eli lowered my leg and then he released my hands. I decided to do something I've only done with him a few times before. I mean it's only fair that I do since he did. I got on my knees and took him into my mouth. He bit his lip and threw his head back as he grabbed my hair and guided my head. I like the way he moans every time my lips wrap around the head of his swollen manhood. The way he pulls my hair tighter also turns me on. In trying to make him cum, I was about to give myself an orgasm. He pulled me up and moved me to the bed. He put me on all four and entered my from behind. He gave me deep, hard hitting thrusts that shook my insides and left me to breathless to moan, I could only whimper like a puppy while he destroyed me. How sweet this obliteration is. He flipped me over and pulled me up, propping his knees under me. Then the sexfest continued. I was still breathless, still only able to whimper and touch myself as Eli demolished my core. All this ruin did have a purpose though, I came a few minutes later and Eli followed shortly after. When it was done he went and started to shower up. Once it got warm he helped me off the bed and we showered together. That wasn't the end of our sexcapades that night though. We used an entire six pack of condoms and the hotel staff came knocking to ask us to pipe down. I'm having fun in Florida already.

**Please drop a review? Let me know what you think. I want to hear from you…yes you! Lol. Thanks =D**


	15. Chapter 15

Eliza

Kelly looked at Mickey Mouse in amazement and then… she smacked him right in the nose. I grabbed her hand and she got a devious smile on her face. I guess she is Fitz's child after all. We continued walking the park. Magic Kingdom is a child's playground… wrapped in a forest of gift shops and limited McDonalds. Little E was riding everything he was tall enough to get on. He's running around like a chicken with its head cut off, to the point that Eli and Clare threatened to rent a child leash and put him on it. That cooled his jets a little.

This vacation so far has been a blast. We went to the beach a few more times and explored Universal studios. Don't tell Mickey this but I like that better. Though I can't ride any rides… hearing the music and feeling like I'm walking through my favorite action/horror film is really fun. Like on the twister thing, I felt like at any moment I'd hear sirens go off and then this massive ground cloud would come flying at us, devouring everything in its path…. It was so real!

When Little E had ridden everything and all ground of the amusement park had been covered we went back to the hotel. Everybody resided to their rooms and agreed to meet downstairs in two hours so that we could go and meet our reservation at Bubba Gump Shrimp and co. I showered and put on a flowing white sundress. When I came out of the bathroom Fitz was sleeping on the bed while Kelly colored on his face with the princess lipstick set I got her. I lifted Kelly off of Fitz and I started laughing.

"What?"

"You're so beautiful."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the uh…facial Kelly gave you."

He looked in the mirror and a small smile creeped across his face. When he turned around Kelly's laughs filled the air along with mine. He walked over to her and tickled her.

"Kelly don't you want to give Eliza a makeover?"

"Ha ha…Iza!"

"No ma'am you don't… Thought Fitz I must say you look simply fabulous darling…"

"I'm going to take a shower and wipe this crap off my face."

"Okay."

He showered and Kelly and I went through all the crap she suckered me into getting her these last few days… Well okay, half of it was mine. I won't lie… But still! This is vacation! I deserved that SpongeBob teddy and all those little Rugrats plushes.

Fitz came out of the bathroom wearing a white tee and a pair of jeans. He looked hot. Especially since he decided to wear flip flops. Of course, what kind of person would I be if there wasn't a little routine teasing?

"Look at those sexy piggies."

"Stop it… I just decided to let the breeze blow through my toes."

"So I see."

I bathed Kelly and then put her on a little sundress to match mine. As if on cue Little E knocked on our door. When I opened it he looked adorable in his tropical button down vacation shirt and his white pants. This had to be my dad's doing.

"Hi Little E."

"Hey Aunt Eliza, Uncle Fitz, Kelly…."

"Hey little dude."

"E!"

He sat on the bed and recapped the day for us, even though we were there. He's really having fun on this trip. That's the way it's supposed to be though. Fun and adventure. I will admit it; I've had fun on this trip my damn self. I, like Adam now wonder why I haven't gotten dual citizenship and a house here.

After little E was done talking to us we supervised him as he mosied on down to Adam and Fiona's room. I guess he's checking on everyone. My nephew, my nephew... Soon it was time to meet downstairs. It seemed like everyone was in sync because we all left at the same time. One thing I saw though was out of the ordinary. Tommy was coming out of an extra room with Little E and my dad was coming out his regular room with Leslie. Either I'm thinking too hard or my dad put Tommy and Little E out so that he could get cozy with Eli's mom… Go dad!

We took a shuttle to the opening and then we walked to the restaurant. This park is still so lively at night. I guess because of the clubs and restaurants. I bet if we were staying a few more days until new years it would really be something to see. But all good things must come to an end, even our vacation in paradise.

The food at Bubba Gump was great and so were the people. We met people from all over while the waiters made sure our table was ready. They all commented on me and Kelly's matching outfits and Little E's relaxed look. After everyone had finished the main course and we were waiting on dessert Tommy made an announcement.

"People, since this vacation I have decided to give you grownups a little alone time so I will babysit the kiddies tonight."  
"But I'm already staying with you Uncle Tommy."

"Little E I know that… But Eliza, I will take Kelly."

"Thanks big bro. You're swell."

"Eh it's nothing."

The food and fun commenced when the sweets arrived. After that Tommy and the little ones went back to the hotel. Leslie took my dad dancing somewhere. Who knows? I didn't even know my dad danced but… I guess apparently he dances with her. It was just the gang before long. Eli, Clare, Fiona, Adam and I. We got cards, junk food and movies then we all piled into Fiona and Adam's room… and for the first time in years we actually acted our ages. For the time being we weren't kids having to play grownups, we were grownups playing the children we really are inside. I love pretending to be twenty.

We fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning, only to be waken by Adam's alarm clock. We all got up and scrambled to get ready. Luckily everything and Fitz's, Kelly's and mine were all packed up. Fitz and I showered and I got dressed in a pair of jeans with a pull over hoodie and converse. I put Kelly on a little jogging suit and then it was to the airport.

Everything went smoothly luckily and the flight back to Canada was… quiet. Kelly and Little E slept the entire time if you can believe it. When we touched down back home all coats and scarves flew on. We got our luggage and we went back to our separate cars. Everyone hugged each other like we wouldn't see each other later after a nap.

Eli

I got to my apartment and I was grateful to have made it home safely, though… the vacation did kick ass. I laid little E down on the bed. He was still asleep. Clare and I collapsed on the bed and went to sleep. A bit too tired for romance I do believe, though…we did get plenty of it on the trip those five nights.

When I woke up from my nap it was because little E was shaking me. I opened my eyes and he looked scared. What happened?

"Daddy get up! Mama is hurt!"

"What?"

"She fell and her leg is broken!"

"Oh my god."

I ran into the kitchen and I saw all this blood. Clare was passed out on the floor; the bone in her leg was popped outside the skin. It was disturbing but I knew I'd have to get her up. First I woke her up.

"Eli? I was trying to get the rice and the stepping stool slipped out from under me."

"Well something happened. I'm going to pick you up and put you in the back of Morty okay?"

"Okay."

Little E assisted my by opening the door, grabbing my keys and wallet and Clare's purse. He locked the front door and then he opened Morty so that I could put Clare in the backseat. She yelled out in pain when he foot accidentally hit a wall.

I got t the hospital as fast as I could. When I arrived I let the nurses get her out. They put her on a stretcher and then they rolled her in. Lucky for her there wasn't much sickness and injury right now. She got back quickly. After a few minutes the doctor came to talk to me.

"Mr. Goldsworthy?"

"Yeah…"

"Clare will be fine. She's passed out now because of the pain when the snapped her bone back into place and back into her leg, but she will be fine. We stitched up the area and we are going to put a cast on the leg. The whole casting process will take about an hour then after that I will prescribe some crutches and pain medication for her then she is free to go until three weeks from now when the stitches need to come out. So I will make an appointment for her at my private clinic."

"Okay, thanks."

The doctor disappeared into the back and an hour later they rolled Clare out. She didn't look in pain, must be the meds. I helped her from the wheelchair into the car and then it was to the drugstore. Her prescription was already done when we got there, so I just paid and left.

She got hang of the crutch walking fast. If I didn't know better I'd think she'd broken a leg before. Now that I know she's okay, I'm going to have a little fun with her.

"Clare, I thought we talked about this… You don't need a crutch… you're only handicapping yourself."

"Eli fuck you okay."

"Ooooohhh mommy said a curse!"

"Sorry little E. Daddy's trying to be funny."

Clare laughed and so did I. She knows my corny joke was funny. Little E and I were the first to sign our names on her cast. I put of course "Eli, your sexy handsome guy…" She laughed and put a heart around it. With all this thought about crutches and handicap though… I wonder if I could get a handicap sticker for Morty since Clare is on crutches. What? Like you wouldn't!

**Please be sweet and give me a review? Thanks and love ya!**


	16. Chapter 16

Clare

Though it sucks being immobilized, being injured does have its perks. Eli babies me and well I must admit I like the extra attention, until he decides to get all humorous and turn me into a limping joke. Okay, so the perks aren't really that great. I still have a month in this damn thing before I can switch to the boot. I can see now that the days won't go quickly. I can at least use the handicap bathroom at school without feeling guilty.

So far the semester has been great. I'm still going to prayer group and still going to church at least once a month. Little E hates it though. He acts as if khaki colored pants and the little light blue button down shirt are made of thorns and poison oak. Though I think he acts out because he's still pissed that I got him the part of an angel in the Christmas play a few months ago… It's now spring if you're wondering…yup, march already and everything is starting to bloom… Well some things are ready to pop.

"Clare why won't this child come out?"

"It's probably comfy."

"Well if he doesn't come out soon he will starve to death… I read it in a book."

"You are only a day overdue."

"Well that's because he should have been out two days ago!"

"Calm down Eliza. Have you tried eating something spicy? Having an orgasm?"

"Yes! I ate peppers all day yesterday and all I got were numb taste buds and heartburn… I even practically raped Fitz and still nothing! The doctor wants to wait until I'm overdue three days to do something Clare. If I have to wait that long I'm going to break my own damn water!"

"Well god don't do anything drastic… let's change the subject. I love those pearl earrings… I've been looking for a place to get some simple faux pearls without all the fancy stuff. Where'd you get yours?"

"Oh…they were a gift. I don't think they are fake."

"Fitz? That's so sweet…"

"No…from Declan."

"Coyne?"

"Yeah."

"What's going on?"

"Geez Clare nothing… We are just friends and you know those Coynes. They like to give nice gifts to their friends."

"Right… Just make sure… never mind."

"What Clare? Just spit it out."

"Just make sure you don't cross the line and don't give him the chance to unless you really want to be with him."

"Don't worry… I won't."

After sitting and talking to her about that, and how much fun her shower was I realized I hadn't even cooked dinner. Time to flip through the phone book… hmmmmm tonight I think it will be pizza. That seems balanced enough.

I ordered the pizza and I heard the front door open and close. Little E and Eli were home… sounded like Fitz was over here too. I limped out of the bathroom on my crutches and I sat back down in my spot on the couch. Fitz and Eliza exchanged a quick kiss before Kelly demanded to be cuddled by Eliza. Little E came and sat beside me, snuggling beside me like a little bug or something.

"Mama."

"What?"

"Can I get married?"

"Married? To who?"

"Mindy Middleton Guthrie!"

"Why?"

"I'm in love."

"I don't know…"

"Aw come on Clare. He's in love…"

"Mmm No. you'll make national headlines Little E, they will think daddy and I are negligent."

"Fine… say no if you'd like mother. I'll retire to my room now."

Wow, Little E is dealing with some crazy issues… I never knew his little crush on Mindy was so…deep. He's not even going through the "I hate girls" phase. He just started out being a little ladies man all along. But… it probably ran in his genes.

Eliza

After I had a slice of pizza and a coke I was sitting nestled between Fitz and Little E on the couch. Then suddenly a wet spot appeared on my jeans… Oh yes! Oh no! This is the big kaboom!

"Guys, my water just broke!"

"Oh shit! Um… what do we do?"

"Fitz chill… my bag and the baby's car seat is in the car right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay… then ouch! Could someone run Kelly over to Mrs. F's place? Ahhhh!"

Eli agreed to take Kelly to Mrs. F's for us. Clare and Fitz helped me to the car before we all got in and went to the hospital. Clare called my doctor on the way and they had a wheelchair waiting for me out front. I tried breathing through the pain but it didn't help, so instead I started expressing my pain through yelling.

Once I got admitted to the room things moved quickly, which is what I wanted. Or so I thought. I thought I'd be able to get drugs but… well things didn't work out my way. I was in an intense amount of pain but I wanted Timothy here after all, and he was certainly on his way.

"Please, can I get an epidural?"

"Sweet heart didn't I tell you? You are fully dilated your baby is crowning."

"What! It's only been…"

"I know it's only been an hour but quick births do happen, for the lucky ones."

I pushed the baby out while Clare and Fitz held my hands…well while I squished their hands. We all screamed together with the final push but all yelling stopped when Timothy's first cries filled the air. I plopped back on the hospital bed and they laid the bloody, gooey screaming little guy on my chest.

"Hey there little guy… You're late, but that's okay."

They whisked him away to bath him and then the doctor pressed on my belly and told me to push. It hurt but I did and this bloody mass came out of me… Gross, placenta looks gross! I can't believe some weirdoes actually eat that! When I was all cleaned up they moved me to a new room and bought Timothy, now more settled, back to me. I held him and he squirmed in my arms. I kissed his cheeks and hugged him close to my body. Before I knew it my family was piling in. Ms. F bought Kelly over to the bed where I was and sat her on it. She looked at Timothy and then touched his face gently. At first she thought he was probably one of her baby dolls until he whimpered. She moved back a little.

"It's okay, give him a kissy."

She looked at me and smiled then she kissed her little brother and he whimpered. Everyone awed and took pictures. I saw Fitz looking at the baby in amazement and hint of pride. He held him and then hugged him before playing with his tiny hands and then rocking him gently. I'm a mother now.

The gang was all there I can definitely say. Little E got a teddy bear for the baby and chocolates for me. He knows me so well. Bianca and Alli bought this adorable little puppy jumper for Timothy and everyone else, even Adam and Fiona surprisingly, offered free babysitting services.

When my family and friends started to leave and the day started to turn into night, I bid my goodbyes to everyone and I fed timothy again before he went to sleep. Such a cooperative baby… I like that already. Fitz was in a chair sleeping, I guess I better get some shut eye too.

**I know that wasn't as long as usual and I apologize… but I have like this horrible heartburn and my mind is . But you guys know the drill. Please leave a review? Love you! Thanks!**


	17. Chapter 17

Fitz

"You can smile all you want. I still know your game little guy… you are going to wait until I'm not looking and you're going to pee in my face… not happening today Timothy."

He laughed and well…. I got turned into a liar because he still peed in my face. He looks like his mom when he laughs but every other time I see myself. After I changed his diaper I sat up with him and we watched an MMA match. Ten minutes later though the fun was over. My mother came to get the kids. I woke up Kelly, who was asleep and Timothy was already wide awake. I kissed both my beautiful kids goodbye and I thanked my mother again.

That sneaky snake in the grass… Declan Coyne invited Eliza and I for dinner tonight. I'll go but I won't trust him. I won't take my eyes off Eliza the entire time. He's not taking her away from me… I know his game and I've been seeing the gifts he's been giving her. But one thing I see that I love is that she only wears his gifts sometimes…but she never takes off the engagement ring.

Eliza came home and we got dressed for the night. She wore this black sundress with black sandals. Her hair was flat ironed and I noticed for the first time that she has hips now. I grabbed them. She kissed me and smiled.

After I got dressed it was off to that devil's lair. When we arrived, I won't lie… the food smelled awesome. My stomach started to grumble and I ate… I mean I can't be rude can I? With dinner I had a little wine. It complimented to food nicely but I started to get really sleepy.

Eliza

I came back from the bathroom and Fitz was lying on the couch fast asleep. I went over to try and wake him but he wouldn't budge. I heard Declan pacing back and forth behind me as I continued to try and wake Fitz.

"It's no use… He's out cold for at least four hours."

"What?"

"I may have slipped old Fitzy boy something."

"What? Why?"

"So we can be alone."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play games with me. I want you… So I'll have you. The gifts, the coffee… you didn't think I actually wanted to be friends did you?"

"Yes."

"How sweet…"

I tried going to the door but it was locked from the inside. He was jingling the keys. I tried fighting him for them but I couldn't reach them. I tried waking Fitz again and he wouldn't budge. All the while Declan was laughing sadistically behind me. I thought he was my friend?

He started walking towards me… I got up and backed away, grabbing my cell phone only to see that it wouldn't come on. He held up my battery. I grabbed the house phone but it didn't work either… It wasn't powered up. Please tell me this isn't happening. My back was against the wall and he was slow walking to me, undoing his pants with every step. I'm going to get raped…

He finally approached me and he rubbed my face. I pushed him away and he back handed me. I felt to the ground. He got on the ground as well and he started pulling up my sundress. I screamed at the top of my lungs but I don't know if anyone hears me. I could feel his hardness against me… pressing the spot it desired to enter. I punched Declan and he punched me back. I can't stop fighting! Just then I stopped having to fight because like two angels, Fiona and Adam walked through the door. Declan jumped off me. I tried covering myself. I couldn't stop myself from crying… I was hyperventilating.

"Eliza do you want Declan to be arrested? If you do I'll call the police."

"No, I just want him to leave…"

"Very well… I'll make sure you never see his face again. Declan…"

"Fiona, you are my sister! You're taking some dumb bitch's side over mine."

"She's not dumb, she's my friend Declan and I walked in on you trying to rape her… If I'd been two minutes later then you would have. You're a monster and I no longer recognize you."

"Fine then… I'll pack my things."

"Thank you."

Fiona helped me up off the floor and she helped me rearrange my clothing. Adam found some way to wake Fitz up. He was still drowsy and high, but his eyes were open. He saw my face partially bloodied and bruised. He frowned. All I could say was "He hurt me Fitz." He tried to get up but the drug had him partially paralyzed. I laid on him and cried… He managed to wrap an arm around me while I sobbed into his chest.

After Fiona was Declan off on a flight to New York she and Adam made sure Fitz and I got home okay. I put Fitz in the bed and then I went to scrub my skin. I scrubbed as hard as I could and I still felt rather nasty. I scrubbed and cried until a hand reached out and grabbed the microdermabrasion pad I was using. I looked around and it was Fitz, standing there almost ghost like with a towel around his waist. He dropped it and climbed in. I wish I could say we made love but we didn't. I cried and told him what happened. It pissed him off…

"I should have known that he would drug me. I should have been smarter and then I could have protected you."

"We didn't know Fitz. I thought Declan was nice."

"I knew he never was… Adam told me a few months ago that Declan…wanted you."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Didn't want it to seem like I was trying to control you."

Fitz isn't that patient with tears but tonight, even though he looked sick, weak and feeble he held me while I cried and he talked to me and let me know that I wasn't to blame. Because I really need someone to tell me this wasn't obvious.

Clare

"Mama, daddy says… Geez, weren't you supposed to start your period last week? Mama, what's a period?"

"It ends a sentence… I forgot to put mine at the end of my papers."

"Oh…"

Eli's message made me realize that I was late for my period. Two weeks late as of now. This can't be good under any circumstances but I'm going to be optimistic. I'm not pregnant… I'm just going through menopause. That has to be it right… Going through menopause at age twenty…

Since Eli was sending messages through the phone, I decided to have a clear cut answer for him when he gets home from work. Little E and I took a little trip to the store. I got a pregnancy test and… The results were less than thrilling for me. How will I tell him? Will he even be happy considering all that's happened? I'm so scared right now. My head is spinning out of control. Little E just stood there watching as I cried and rocked. He tried comforting me but it was only for a moment that it actually worked. Bye the time Eli made it home Little E was sitting in the floor watching me in fear, though he shouldn't be afraid.

"Clare? What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because…"

"Clare, this is going to be great. Of course we will have to buy the space next door from my dad, knock out a few walls but Clare… this can be good. Well, at least one thing will make things perfect, if you marry me. I know you are still insecure about what happened, but I'm over it because I'm still into you. Clare and with us bringing another life into this world I think it's only appropriate that we make things official."

"You don't still secretly hate me?"

"It was hard to stay mad at you."

"Gosh mommy just give the guy a break and marry him already!"

"Well Little E, do you think I should?"

"Yes! Do it!"

"Well, Eli since little E says I should… Okay."

"Then we will do it tomorrow and have a party to invite all our friends and family… Unless you want a big wedding."

"Well, you do only get married once and I've always wanted a cupcake wedding dress."

"Two months... plan it."'

I found myself cheering up substantially and then it was as if my world was right side up again. I'm once again harboring life inside of me, except this time that life is like a timer. I've got to beat the clock and the upcoming baby bump so that I can find a pretty dress that fits for my dream wedding. Now it's set in stone, I'm gonna be a Goldsworthy.

**Please leave a review. Thanks!**


	18. Chapter 18

Clare

"Suck it in Clare!"

"I can't Eliza! I'm sucking it in already."'

"Well straighten your back."

We are wedding dress shopping and I guess I'm in denial that I'm starting to gain pregnancy weight. I guess I will have to go up a size, though I really don't want to…Or do I? Eliza got the dress zipped. I exhaled and at the moment the zipper popped open and all the buttons popped off.

"Oh shit Clare, you broke it!"

"No, we broke it because you zipped it up."

"Well look... I'm turning into super Goldsworthy really quick… Put the dress back in the plastic and on the rack. We will leave hastily."

"What?"

"Clare! We will leave hastily…"

"Okay."

This is the first time I can say this, but she's being just like her brother right now. We went through with her plan and the women in the boutique didn't suspect a thing. We got into the car and drove away. I started laughing… I've never laughed so hard in my life!

"Clare, if I ever decide to rob a bank, remind me not to take you along."

"Why?"

"Because you're such a goodie two shoes!"

"Yeah yeah say what you want."

"Maybe you could drive the getaway van."

"Yay!"

After discussing a life of crime, we ended up at yet another bridal shop. This time though I pushed my pride aside and I got the right size. The first dress I tried on was cute… but it didn't make me feel gorgeous. The third dress was too sexy… the third dress was perfect though. It was a floor length ball gown type dress with a corseted sweetheart neckline and it was ivory. It had flowery lace designs all over it, but they weren't overbearing and I love it!

"Eliza this is the one!"

"I know. Now, I have to take a picture for your sister. You know she wanted to be here."

"Yeah, too bad she had that appointment."

"I know."

After I got measured for the dress to be altered we left. We went out to eat. The place we went to has great salads! That's what we both got. While we were eating I decided to check up on Eliza.

"So Eliza how are you?"

"Fine."

"I mean after the whole…"

"Declan trying to rape me thing… I'm better. Sometimes I get pissed because he was so sadistic and sometimes I wonder what would happen if Fiona and Adam hadn't come home."

"How's Fitz?"

"I secretly think he's saving to go to New York and kill Declan but, I can't prove it."

"If you need somebody to talk to…Darcy was raped before."

"Really?"

"Yeah…she got roofied at a party."

"I never knew that."

"Yeah. So, when are you going to kidnap your nephew? He's been so bad lately."

"Why?"

"He wanted a little brother or sister but now he's jealous."

"Well what's he been doing?"

"Refusing to do his chores, being disobedient, trying to run away from home and join the cirque du freak…until I told him it wasn't real… Eliza, would you like to adopt him today?"

"Ha ha… I love my little nephew but he wouldn't like living with me. Fitz has got Kelly watching wrestling and MMA fights on television so now she thinks she's a fighter. Little E might get beat up. You know how she likes to abuse him."

"Oh my god. That's crazy."

"Just… let him know you'll always love him like I did when he got jealous when I was pregnant with Timothy."

"Thanks I will try that."

After lunch she dropped me off and I walked into the house. It was quiet. Eli should be getting to his job by now and little E is still in school for a few more hours. I was going to catch a few Z's until Darcy called.

"Hey big sis, oh my gosh you missed one memorable fitting but don't worry we took pictures."

"Clare?"

"Darcy, what's the matter?"

"Mom…she died."

"What?"

"She… has been drinking a lot these past few years so last night she went to try and get some liquor without money. Things got crazy and mom had a gun, so did the clerk…he was quicker with his and she died."

"Oh my god. Oh my god."

I was at a loss for words. I haven't seen my parents in years ever since things went south. Though I've invited them both to holidays, birthdays and even Little E's Christmas play some months ago she never responded and neither of them showed. The last memories I have of my mom are bad but now I know there will never be a chance to make another good memory. I called Eliza and I asked her to pick Little E up from school. She agreed, even though I didn't give her a reason.

I didn't know where to go or what to do so I just went to the recording studio. There Eli was at the front desk, headset on and pen in hand. He saw me and his facial expression became a worried one. He walked from behind the desk and hugged me, even before knowing why I'm crying.

"Clare what's wrong?"

"Eli…my mom died."

"What!"

"She was trying to rob a liquor store and the clerk shot her in self defense."

"I'm sorry."

"Darcy and I will be making the arrangements. Her body is being bought back here."

"Clare, stay right here, I will go tell them I need to leave early."

"No. Just…if you get a break I'd like to have coffee with you."

"Clare are you sure?"

"No… I'll be fine."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

There's no need to tell little E that my mother died because he's never met her. Now that I think about it I don't know why I even tried mending things with my mother. My father at least sends a card every now and then, and he saw little E in the hospital but my mother… she sent back little E's birth announcement postcard and said she didn't want to know about him. I don't know why I continued to try.

I went to Darcy and Peter's where Peter was consoling Darcy over hot chocolate. When Darcy saw me she ran to me and we hugged and cried. We've lost the woman who gave both of us life. But I know think that we may have lost her years ago; we are just now having the funeral for it.

"Did you know we had a brother?"

"What?"

"Well…we have a brother Clare. We have a brother. Mom and dad didn't wait until marriage Clare. They had the kid and gave him up for adoption. It was mom's idea and dad's been looking for him, and he's been looking for mom and dad. He and dad found each other!"

"Does he know?"

"I told him. He's going to attend the funeral."

This is too much to handle for one day. Dead mother, secret brother and the perfect wedding dress all in one day. I started to stress out until I felt the baby flutter. I guess that makes things a little better. I remember when Little E was in there making me feel the flutters…

Darcy and I made an appointment to start planning the funeral. Lucky for us, mom had life insurance. While we were sitting there talking about all the skeletons that'd just marched out of the closet I saw Eli's hearse pull up. He must have taken off of work early even though I told him not to.

"Hey you…playing hooky?"

"You need me right now."

"You're right. I have a brother."

"What!"

"My mom and dad had a son they gave up for adoption."

"Wow."

Adam

New York, the city of lights… the rotten apple… Fiona and I spent the day in her loft there. Of course, she had to share it with Declan and so this is where he is staying as well. I still can't believe he was going to rape Eliza. The way he looked when we walked through the doors was so predatory and animalistic. Almost like he was going to eat her after words. Fiona and I were sitting there enjoying the view and having a drink when Declan walked out, decked out in a suit. Fiona still wasn't speaking to him.

"Twin sister still giving me the silent treatment?"

"Yes. You tried to rape a girl… My friend."

"Fiona don't act so self righteous. You used to be fun."

"Declan I was a bad person then but I have changed and you should have too."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing…"

"No Mrs. Perfect, tell him how you used to bait girls with shopping trips and spa days into coming over to spend the night so that I could drug them and have my way with them in any way I pleased!"

"Fiona?"

"Adam I was really young…"

"How?"

"It just happened. Please…Stay."

"We have to talk."

"Yeah you freak…talk to my sister…"

"Don't call him that!"

"Shut up!"

"Get out!"

"I won't… both our names are on this lease."

"Well only mine is on the Canadian loft, so Adam and I are leaving. Don't call me Declan because I'll be in mourning. My twin brother died today."

Fiona and I packed our things. She was really upset. We jumped on the first available plane back to Canada. On the flight we talked.

"It's like he had this power over me Adam. I know that sounds crazy but I was so scared of disappointing him that I falsely befriended these girls and I let him…"

"As long as you've changed now Fiona. Declan needs help."

"I told my parents. Don't know if they listened."

"Well, you done what you could."

Eliza

"Little E your mommy and daddy will still love you."

"Uh uh… Jack said they'll make me sleep in a doghouse and eat only scraps because the new baby will be more important."

"That's a lie and the next time I see jack I'm going to kick his ass for dishonesty."

"His mama will get you."

"I'll whoop her ass too! Now you listen to me you little Elijah! Your mother and father love you and will still love you just as much, if not more when the new baby comes. Now mommy needs your support and when the baby comes it will need a big brother to teach, love and protect it."

"Well…okay. If they don't though can I come live with you?"

"Sure."

Timothy cried out at that moment. I went and changed his diaper then I gave him something to eat. He was appeased them. I bought him out into the living room where Kelly was now beating up little E who was trying to get away.

"Kelly!"

"Liza..."

"No ma'am."

She shed one tear and then went on to the next adventure. I could kill Fitz for turning her into a tough girl. That means I'm going to have an even harder time turning her back into a girly girl. Speak of the devil, he walked through the door. He kicked off his boots and put his hardhat on the table. He then kissed me on the lips, Kissed Timothy's cheeks and ruffled Little E's hair. Kelly however kicked him in the leg.

"Whoa little girl where did you learn that?"

"Say I learned it from your violent television programs daddy…"

"So it's my fault?"

"Whose else's would it be?"

"What are you cooking…?"

"It's chicken casserole and no it's not for us. Clare's mom died and I'm taking it to her and Darcy."

"Aunt Eliza… Mommy had a mommy?"

"Yeah she did but she passed."

"Oh. I should probably be there to cheer her up."

"Well lucky for you… The casserole is done and we are on our way."

"Babe don't worry, I will watch the kids. Send my condolences."

"Okay."

Clare

Eliza came in carrying a casserole with little E who had a tiny cactus in hand. He trotted over to me and kissed me on the cheek. This is a change. Eliza always knows what to do with him.

"Mommy, I'm sorry bought your mommy… Was she nice?"

"Well… yes… she was nice."

"Oh. Are you sad?"

"Yes."

"Am I helping?"

"Yes… loads. Thanks for the cactus."

"You're welcomed. I used my allowance money."

"On me? I'm flattered."

Little E sat in my lap and talked to me. Though that doesn't seem like much it made me tons happier. Eli came and sat beside us. He wrapped his arm around me and I laid my head on his chest. Eliza's casserole was delicious. That and the cake and chilled hot chocolate Peter got from the dot filled at least one void in my heart.

Eli

We got back to our apartment that night. I was carrying little E, who was snoring like a bear. I didn't bother changing him into Pj's, I simply laid him on his bed and covered him up. I went into the bedroom where Clare was undressing and crying. She didn't cry the entire time we were at Darcy's… I guess she was trying to be strong.

"Eli I…"

"Shh… just cry and feel what you're feeling right now. Don't think just let it out."

She sobbed until she was weak at the knees. I held her up and when she was done the entire front of my shirt was soaked with tears but its okay. She needed to let that out and I'm sure there will be more to come. Ms. Edwards hasn't been around in a while but for Clare when she was around she was the best mom in the world and now it's just hit her that there will never be an opportunity for her mother to be like a mother to her again. I just hope Clare knows I'm here for her and I love her.

"I love you Clare."

"I love you too Eli.

**Leave a review please! Tell me what you think.**


	19. Chapter 19

Eliza

Timothy and Kelly are away for the weekend with Ms. F… I'm bored. Eli and Clare are busy… Alli and Bianca are working. Adam and Fiona are not even in this country… And Fitz, well he's parked in front of the TV… It's just him and a marathon of fights with a case of beer. I don't even know if he's aware I'm still in the house. I decided to take back my free day. I marched into the living room and turned off the TV. He just turned it back on with the remote. So I unplugged it.

"Eliza what the hell?"

"I'm bored."

"Well hang out with Clare…"

"She's off doing couple stuff with Eli."

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"Spend time with me."

"Fine… Come watch the fight with me."

"No, I mean real time. Take me out."

"But it's on. The marathon is on."

"Fine… Watch your stupid marathon. It's not like it won't come on again next weekend. I'll just go and die of boredom and loneliness."

I didn't have to look back to know that he was rolling his eyes right now. I heard his beer bottle cling as it was being placed on the table and I knew I'd won this battle, or he was going to at least listen to me and consider appeasing me.

"Get dressed…we can go grab some pizza and a movie…"

"Yay!"

I'd already showered so I out on a pair of jeans and a black crop top that showed off my belly, which was back to its former flatness. I paired the look with black heels, smoky vixen makeup and I combed down my flat ironed and wrapped hair. Okay… So I knew all along I would win this battle. I came out of the bathroom and Fitz double taked me.

"Wow you look amazing."

"Thanks doll."

"Well since you are making me miss my fights… Any chance I'll get lucky tonight?"

"Count on it."

"Yes!"

While Fitz was getting ready for our impromptu date, I started looking at the ring on my finger. That's when I realized that I still haven't given him an answer. Though it's apparent I haven't rejected him I should still probably let him know that I say yes. He came out in jeans and a crisp white tee shirt.

"Fitz did you know I still haven't given you an answer?"

"Yeah… I didn't want to rush you."

"Well… yes."

"Yes yes? Or you agree with me not rushing you yes?"

"Yes I'll marry you Fitz."

He pulled me up from the couch and embraced me in a hug that made my feet leave the ground. When he put me down he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and then I thought some routine teasing would be in order.

"Why are you staring at me? It's bugging me out!"

"Just hush and come on…."

The pizza was good. The cheese was gooey and the pepperonis were crispy which is just the way I love my pizza. We were down to the last slice of pizza. Fitz offered it to me… I offered it to him and in the end we pulled a lady and the tramp move by biting opposite ends of the slice until there was so little left our noses bumped.

"You remember that time during the summer when you were like… 16, and we were in your room getting high because your dad was supposed to be at work but he came home early and we were caught red handed?"

"How could I forget? Clare was coming in with Little E in her hands crying and I was crying because I got a whipping at age sixteen… Eli laughed at me for two weeks."

"We were so young."

"Not that young."

"Younger than we are now."

That memory made me laugh. The look on my father's face was unexplainable. He looked like he didn't know whether he wanted to kill me or join me. The craziest times were the best of times. Sometimes I actually miss days at Degrassi. Pissing off Simpson… going to the games and keeping Fitz out of trouble….

After the pizza parlor was the movie theater. Good Luck Chuck the sequel was out so we went to see it. I don't care what anyone says, you can never go wrong with Dane Cook. If I wasn't committed to Fitz, I'd marry Dane.

After the movie Fitz drove like a madman to the house. I held onto the safety handle and pressed the invisibly brakes the entire time. Oh dear lord, I hope he doesn't kill us right now. When we finally pulled up in the driveway I exhaled and my heart rate slowed. I looked over at him and he had a devilish grin on his face.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I just wanted to see if I could still take your breath away fresh meat."

"Don't start that mess…fresh idiot."

We started walking into the house and he suddenly picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. My feet didn't touch solid ground again until he plopped me down on the bed. His shirt came off and his six pack, as well as the bullet wound and surgery scars were exposed.

"Why aren't you getting undressed fresh meat? You owe me…"

"Why don't you undress me and claim your prize fresh idiot?"

"Fine…"

He started with my shoes… slipping them off of my feet gently, but that was all that was removed gently. My jeans were removed roughly, but I liked it. I don't think gentle is me and Fitz's thing. He kissed my lips and touched my body in places that made me shiver all over with excitement. I don't remember my shirt coming off, but it did and my underwear, both bra and thong were things of the past. Fitz entered me with a pleasurable roughness that made my stomach drop. He pinned down my arms and dominated me. While he demolished my core he placed kisses on my neck, my breasts and my lips. The only sounds filling the air were my moans and whimpers… his grunts and the sound of him sucking in air through his teeth. A wonderful eternity passed before the built up passion in our bodies caused us to blissfully erupt. Then we were winded, weak and we clung to each other like magnets to paperclips… Both of us are chipped and flawed in our own special way… but when we come together…we are perfect.

Clare

I sang along with the song on the movie. Twilight is a classic (in this house at least), and though Eli protested against watching it, in the end I won the battle. Little E is at a motorcycle convention with Mr. Goldsworthy this weekend. I just pray he doesn't come back with tattoos or a Mohawk.

"Clare… I was just thinking of something super funny."

"What?"

"Remember our first year living here and there was like a string of burglaries but before they caught the crook you were on your toes… So when I was coming in late from work one night you hit me over the head with a frying pan."

"Oh my god! Eli I was so scared that I'd killed you. But honestly, you should have called first."

"I had a key."

"Well how was I supposed to know that the burglar didn't kill you outside and steal your key?"

"I guess you have a point… still won't let me see the dress?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Bad luck."

"Whatever… Is your brother Kenny coming to the wedding?"

"Yes he said he's be here with bells on…whatever that means. He doesn't seem to be too sad over mom and well Darcy is getting better… I think that was just some of the closure we needed."

"Ah… So… Are we naming our little girl Eli Jr. Jr.?"

"No. You are such a goofball. I was thinking more of…Emmeline…"

"Another E name?"

"What's wrong with the letter E?"

"Nothing…nothing at all…"

"That's what I thought… Emmeline Madison Goldsworthy."

"Who isn't dating until she's fifty."

"Sixteen."

"Fifty."

"We have tons of time to compromise."

I can't believe the wedding is in two weeks. Lucky for me, I have awesome wedding planners who have everything all squared away. Of course we already know who these planners are… Eliza, Alli, and Fiona. The wedding is going to be at the place we spent New Year's the year before I became a mom. The place with the gorgeous lake, that made it seem like I could reach out and grab the moon. That's where we are getting married. It's going to be a night wedding and it's even scheduled to be on a full moon! The dress still fits perfectly and as far as I can tell from their books and sketches the wedding will be beautiful.

After Eli and I were done watching movies he tried to coerce me into letting him see the dress again. I stood strong and refused. I want him to be completely stunned when he sees me walking down that aisle…. It feels so surreal. Just merely five years ago we were kids… Kids having fun and living life carefree, now we are getting married and continuing a life together. The best part is that the people we love are still in our lives. No friends have grown distant; in fact we've all grown closer, more like family.

While I was thinking, the phone rang and my concentration was broken. I answered it only to hear my darling son's voice on the other end. There was noise all around but he sounded so happy and excited.

"Hi mommy!"

"Hey baby. Having fun?"

"Yeah! I took a picture on ten different Harleys!"

"Well good for you."

"Mama, can I get my ear pierced? Grampy says if you say yes then I can."

"No."

"But mama!"

"You are too young baby. Maybe when you are older."

"Okay…"

"Now have fun. I love you."

"Love you too…"

Was I crazy to ever get bored with a kid like that? Sometimes I still think about what I done and how I hurt Eli and I feel horrible. He never brings it up though. Not even in the one argument we've had since getting back together. It makes me love him so much more because he exhibits what true forgiveness should look like. Though, I'd love him anyway. I've been thinking a lot lately and he did put his life on hold too. So, he doesn't know it but I'm going to help him get his dream. I've been talking to my dad… He's agreed to invest in Eli's comic book/ record store when he graduates. Though it's a year away… It's a gift I can't wait to present to him when he gets his degree.

Adam

I looked in the mirror… shit, is that a moustache forming? I think it is... We think it is! I called Fiona into the bathroom to show her.

"Fi!"

"Yes Adam?"

"I think I might need to start shaving soon."

"Oh I see it… Yeah you are!"

"Yeah Mr. Baritone is uh…on the way."

"Well when he gets here… Barry White, you'll have to sing me a song."

"Count on it… What are you up to?"

"I'm planning Clare and Eli's wedding… well the nitty bits. I'm basically done just checking all the reservations and services and stuff… Don't want any mistakes."

"Have we rented little E's tux yet?"

"We bought him one and it's in the closet… It's adorable!"

"He'll love looking so dapper; he does have to be clean since he beat me out of the best man spot and all."

I left Fiona to her work. I went to watch something scary. It's of course my favorite genre. Things are starting to slowly change with me. I'm getting facial hair. Those dreadful periods are starting to cease and if I'm not mistaken I think my voice is getting deeper. Little by little I'm permenately saying goodbye to Gracie. My mother still isn't thrilled with the idea of getting the extra piece added but she's at least started talking to me again. Once she sees how happy I'll be once it's all done and my mind and body match she will see that I knew what was best all along.

Eli

Clare went to the bathroom and as if on cue my phone rang. It was little E. There was a lot of noise around and somehow I feel like he's about to ask me to approve of something Clare said no to.

"Hi daddy."

"Hello son… What's up?"

"Oh I was just calling to say I love you."

"What do you want?"

"Can I dye my hair purple? Grampy said if you approve I can."

"Are you kidding? Your mom would kill me! Don't you want to look nice as the best man?"

"Yes."

"Maybe we'll talk about some non permanent, rinse out dye after the wedding."

"Really! Okay! Bye daddy."

"Bye Little E."

The crazy thing is… when I was his age I wanted to dye my hair purple too. I was even under the impression that if I poured grape juice in my hair it would somehow stain it to be that color. All I got was a sticky head and fruit flies in my hair. How the doors do revolve. Where does the time go? In two weeks I'm finally getting married to the girl of my dreams… wow, this is it.

**Review please people, tell me what you think.**

_**Just thought I'd let everyone know that the story will be 21 chapters… You guys won't believe the last chapter; it's going to blow your mind… literally. You will need a drink. Lol.**_


	20. Chapter 20

Clare

I can't believe today is the day. I can't believe I ended up switching my dress after all the fuss over a cupcake dress! In the end though, I felt like something flowier was in order. That's when I found the perfect dress. It was strapless and white. The dress flows down like water and there's this outer shell that glimmers in the most amazing way. I haven't seen it in moonlight yet but I know it will look stunning. The beautician put the last few curls into my hair and then Eliza sprayed me with perfume. I looked in the mirror and barely recognized myself. I look stunning. I saw myself in the dress, with the beautiful up do and I started to cry. Of course the committee was there to catch the tears before they ruined my makeup.

"No crying!"

"Alli I can't help it!"

"Alli let her cry… That way she and Eli can have matching runny eyeliner."

"He's crying?"

"Well the sniffles are starting Clare."

"Well stop all this talk of tears guys! It's time!"

We walked out of the tent. My father and Mr. Goldsworthy stood before a wall of flowers with me. They were both walking me down the aisle. I happened to peak and I saw Eli, Little E, Tommy, Adam and Fitz standing at the altar while my bridesmaids Darcy, Eliza, Alli, and Fiona walked down the aisle one by one to the music. Mindy Middleton-Guthrie and Kelly were my flower girls. Everything looked beautiful. The entire wedding was bathed in the moonlight, which made everything sparkle in the most mesmerizing way. Before I knew it the flowers were thrown on the ground and… It was my turn to walk down the aisle. With my dad's arm looped around my left arm, and Mr. Goldsworthy's looped around my right, I took the big walk down the aisle. Everyone stood and cameras flashed. I didn't care or looked out into the audience though. My eyes were on Eli and his were on me. I saw black tears rolling down his cheeks. Eliza wasn't lying. Seeing him cry made me cry… Now we really do match.

When I finally made it to the altar the men I've come to see as my fathers gave me away and Eli grabbed my hand, pulling me up onto the platform. I couldn't help but notice Little E standing there fiddling with the flower pinned to his tux. I giggled at his inattentiveness and then all my attention was on Eli. The pastor started with the ceremony. However, we'd written our own vows.

"Clare, what can I say to you to let you know how much I love you? Mere words won't suffice because I don't love you with all my heart; I love you so much that if I could I would wrap my heart in ribbon and give it to you. From the moment I laid eyes on you, and you laid your newly lasiked eyes on me… I knew I would love you forever or at the very least never forget you. Watching you go from a rather naïve, bold and simply amazing girl to an intelligent, strong and even more amazing woman has been one of the most precious gifts god has bestowed upon me… Mother of my child and love of my life, will you take this ring as an eternal token of my love?"

Little E had the ring. But he was so busy playing with his buttons that he didn't hear his cue.

"Best man, can I have the ring please?"

"Oh…sorry daddy."

"It's okay."

Eli slipped the band on my finger and then I knew it was my turn.

"Eli, there are no words to describe you. Whether it was you running over my glasses or loving me even when I felt like nobody should…you never cease to take my breath away. In a time when everything I knew fell apart, God and you were the only glue that held my fragile self together. You've gotten me into trouble while making my life adventurous and though you've sometimes made my stomach quiver with worry you always make my heart swell with joy. You were the most unusual guy I have ever met, yet you bought stability and normality to my life that only the luckiest people have. You have been my pillow to lay my head against and my tissue to catch the tears. I think god made us especially for each other… We are like puzzle pieces, completely different but we fit perfectly once put together. I've watched you go from a wild hearted, mysterious and stubborn boy to a strong, caring, ambitious man with whom I'm building my family with. Now take this ring as a token of my eternal love for you."

Darcy handed me the ring and I put it on Eli's finger. When we were declared man and wife we kissed and then Eli picked up Little E. We both place a kiss on his chubby cheeks. Everyone clapped and I heard countless noses being blown and sniffles galore. After the photos we went to a huge tent where the food was. I still can't believe Fiona pulled the strings and got all this stuff for free! She's got some major pull. After the food came the cake, which Eli smashed in my face. I returned the favor and smashed it in his too. After the cake… came the party. Outside there was a dance floor. Eli pulled me out onto the dance floor and held me tight as we moved to the music. Our first dance… I noticed that once again all eyes were on us, but this will be our only time to talk, so I did.

"We did it Eli!"

"I know Clare Goldsworthy. We did and now you are mine forever so I can expose the real me."

"What?"

"Clare I'm fat…"

"What?"

"Yeah. Adam told me today that I had muffin top again"

"Ha, well Adam is a meanie, it's just sympathy weight."

"Whatever you say."

"Wanna know a secret?"

"I'd love you fat or skinny."

"Same here..."

We danced for one whole song and then when another came up people started to come onto the dance floor. All including little E who had taken his tie off and put it around his head like a headband. He wanted a dance with me. Though he was heavy, I managed to pick him up for a song.

"Mama you look pretty."

"Thanks baby. You look handsome too."

"So you and daddy are married now?"

"Yeah we are."

"So that means you're like real grownups?"

"I guess so."

"Do I have to eat brussell sprouts now?"

"No. Gross."

"Good cause I hate those stinky little cabbages!"

"Me too. Is that all you wanted to ask?"

"Yeah. When are you and daddy coming back from Hawaii?"

"In a week."

"Why can't I go?"

"It's a grownup thing."

"Well while you are gone can Aunt Eliza dye my hair purple. Daddy promised after the wedding!"

"Well, I guess so."

"Yay. I love you mommy."

"Love you baby."

When little E got down I watched the wonderful five year old boy run and play with Mindy Middleton Guthrie. Maybe this will be them one day.. Who knows? My groom grabbed my waist from behind and kissed my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his shaggy hair and we stood there looking at the moon. It's beautiful. This night is beautiful.

Eli

I'm married and it feels wonderful. This is the first time I've ever wanted something so badly and actually still been happy when I got it. Clare is all that I could ever ask for in a wife, in a woman. Seeing her shimmering from the moonlight and glowing from another one of my children growing inside her makes me want to hug her for a lifetime and kiss her for an eternity.

After a while things settled down. Clare threw the bouquet, Fiona caught it and Adam blushed… Ironically when I removed Clare's garter belt with my teeth into the crowd of guys, Adam caught it and Fiona blushed. Could this be a sign from the heavens of future matrimony to come in our family? Speaking of family, I was surprised to see my mother and father there together. They were holding hands and they looked at each other like star crossed teenagers. I somehow get the feeling that this is how I was conceived.

When the band started to pack up and people started to put back on their shoes, we decided to take our leave. We told our families goodbye and we both hugged and kissed Little E who was suddenly crying because he wouldn't see us for an entire week. It will be different without him stirring around, but it is only a week. I promised him a weekend of fun with his choice of entertainment and he dried up the tears.

Clare and I escaped to Morty which was completely covered in tissue, balloons and crap. We pulled off and changed in the back and then we made it to the airport in time to catch our flight. The flight was super long, but the good thing is that we ended up sleeping for eight of the twelve hours, and the other four hours we goofed around on the plane, well as much as we could without the other passengers telling us to shut up laughing.

When we arrived on the island we got leid. The weather was nice and our hotel room was nicer. There was a view of the beach and you could hear the drums and see fire dancers from the balcony. After we showered we went to the hotel's restaurant to get some food, but of course we had other things on our minds so the food was scarfed down and we rushed up to the room. If I had a knife I probably would have cut the tropical sundress off of Clare, but since I didn't I just tore her out of it as fast as reality would allow. We consummated our marriage then, with the sun high in the sky and the balcony door open. I'm certain they heard Clare's moans, and they probably heard me too, but who cares? She's my wife and if they don't like the sounds of our passion they can just fuck off.

Adam

Yesterday was grand. My best friend got hitched to my other best friend and the affair was beautiful thanks to my wonderful girlfriend. Eli and Clare called to say they were okay. Eli gave me the details of he and Clare's hot, steamy and somewhat public consummation. At least it will be remembered. Fiona entered the room dressed for a day on the town.

"Where you going?"

"Just out to meet some new clients."

"Okay. Love you?"

"Love you too."

After she left Drew came over to chill. He started telling me about his sexcapades. He is the star quarterback on our college team however, so I would expect that ass would be tossed at him from every which way.

"So, you're doing all these girls but which one do you like?"

"Like? Um… Well the girl I like it taken and she doesn't know I exist. I barely talk to her, I've never bedded her and the closest we've come to physical contact is when she punched me in the eye."

"Oh for fuck's sake! You too!"

"What?"

"Eliza?"

"Eliza…"

"Geeez! What the hell is wrong with you and Declan! She's engaged to be married. Take it from Wesley man and keep yourself in the friend zone. Fitz kicked your ass before and I'm pretty sure he can still do it."

"Yeah well we'll see."

"Well I don't want to know about this."

"I'll give you updates."

"You're sick."

"I'm awesome."

Is there ever an end to the madness?

Eliza

Fitz, the kids and I all sat there watching the movie. Little E was finally complying and it was a pleasant day. Timothy was babbling and though he's teething, he isn't fussy, which I'm not complaining about. Kelly has softened up a bit on little E and has now resorted to playing in his hair. Gosh, he's a splitting image of his dad, it's like seeing my brother at that age all over again.

Clare called and told me about their first time doing the deed as man and wife and I must say… My ears nearly caught aflame, not because the action was so hot but because she was talking about my brother…Gross! I guess some things will never change. Some things should never change. I hope all my friends remain my friends, and I hope my family remains close because the way it is now… Life is sweet.

**Please leave a review guys… Remember next chapter is the last. You won't believe it! **


	21. Chapter 21

Clare

I woke up; the back of the Hearse was still slightly smoky. What the hell kind of a dream was that? I knew I shouldn't have trusting smoking anything Eli "grew" himself… Everybody else rose up, all just as confused as I was. I still haven't caught my breath and that dream was so real and detailed and… wow. I looked at my watch and realized school was letting out in three minutes! We skipped the entire day!

"Eli! Oh my god, we ditched the entire day. Simpson is probably going to flip."

"Chill out Clare."

Fitz rubbed his face and shook his head. Trying to get himself back together while Eliza stretched and Adam and Fiona just started at each other. Eli on the other hand just sat there.

"Guys I had the weirdest dream."

"Oh my god Clare me too! I dreamed you and my brother had a baby and got married and…"

"Me too!"

"I dreamed I was going through the gender reassignment process."

"Well I dreamed I got shot by Owen."

"Well I dreamed I married Clare."

"I dreamed all of that!"

"Well, guys I did make this myself and I didn't name it the shared dream for any old reason."

"Wow, Eli that shit is magic."

"I'm never smoking again!"

We all got out of the back of the hearse and the smoke followed us out. The fresh air felt good to breath in, even though it was cold. That dream was crazy. I was twenty with a baby and I cheated on Eli! That is insane! Because I'd never cheat and as far as I know, I'm still waiting until marriage but it was so real, like we were all living that life. It was like a virtual reality system we were all in or something. Wow… Eli has invented a new drug.

We all discussed the dream; we really did share the dream! We were so creeped out by the whole thing that Eli promised to get rid of that weed and never ever "grow" it again. Then everyone piled into Morty, I got the front seat with Eli and it was to the Dot. There we were grateful to be what we are… Teenagers! Though we were only asleep for about four and a half hours, it felt like a lifetime that we no longer got to be the youth. It makes me want to slow things down and enjoy being a kid. Yeah, my parents are divorcing but it could be much worse. My mother could be abusive like in that dream and my father could have walked out. Wow I can't get that out of my head.

Adam

That dream was so fucked! I can't even believe the things that happened in it and it felt so real. When I woke up my chest was heavy, that's how intense it was. I got raped in the dream, and I tried to kill myself! Crazy right? There were good aspects though, at least I still had Fiona and I got to start the gender reassignment process.

While at the Dot everyone around the table sat there drinking their sodas and having their burgers or chicken tenders. It's like we've all climbed Mount Everest or something. We are survivors of the crazy ride our subconscious's have just taken us on. I can't believe Saint Clare got pregnant in the dream though, that was unexpected.

I'm relieved that I got to wake up though. There's so much life to be lived right now as a kid. I'm not ready to be an adult yet, and though I know I am Adam, I'm not ready for gender reassignment yet, it takes nerve to do that kind of thing. I just hope that when I am a real grown up and I'm ready, Fiona is still by my side.

Eli

Wow, I can't remember what all I laced that weed with but the shit was other worldly. It was normal at first, until we all went to sleep and then it was like… life… shared and not real. Kind of like the Matrix or some crazy shit like that. Clare was a cheater in the dream and we had a baby! Clare won't even let me touch her boobs under her shirt yet, I doubt we will be having munchkins any time soon. I beat up Owen with a crowbar! That part was awesome but I have no grievances with Owen. God, I'm still in awe at the fact that Clare let me go all the way in the dream. I'm waiting for her to be ready but I will admit, she knows how to put a hurting on a man. Let's just say after all of our dates I get to know myself really well….

Nobody wanted to spend all their money ordering food at the Dot, but we all had a serious case of the munchies so it was to the grocery store where we piled up on snacks and I parked. We sat in the back of Morty and tripped out… without drugs this time. The barbecue chips I was munching on tasted like I was eating a piece of heaven. God… I hope dad is cooking tonight.

Eliza

I looked over at Fitz. Though it was just a dream I'm a little suspicious as to whether it's really possible he could ever hit me and cheat on me. Well it doesn't matter since we aren't dating…but if we were, then that would be something to wonder. Though… the end of the dream was pleasant and everything was worked out, the middle of it was pure madness. I was twenty! I just turned fifteen a month ago; I can't even see myself being sixteen so twenty is a stretch. I was a stepmom and a real mom. At least I got to go to Disney world…. Fiona's brother tried to rape me! I've only met him once when we were hanging at Fiona's and he seemed nice enough. Wow, shit is crazy… but right now the only thing crazier is how fucking yummy this redi whip and Ben and jerry's whirled peace is right now. I so love it! This is my first time being stoned and having the munchies, I will admit the food tastes better but I doubt I'll be picking up a blunt again. Especially if my crazy as hell older brother is the grower and maker of it. Everyone's eyes were bloodshot and now everyone had the giggles. Though the dream is no longer being discussed I'm sure it's being thought about.

Clare

After all the food was gone Eli dropped everyone off at home, including Eliza who was eager to raid their fridge for goodies. I know the feeling. I could go for a few big macs right now myself. I'm starving but Eli wants to talk, and I like talking to Eli. He pulled into the park and we watched the scenery.

"I just wanted a kiss."

"Eli? You just wanted a kiss?"

"Yes of course."

"I don't trust you."

"Why?"

"You know why…"

"Hey I'm keeping my promise. I won't pinch your nipples again! I just got into it that time… No sex until marriage…Got it!"

"You are silly. I guess that deserves a kiss."

I moved in and he took over the kiss, pulling me close to him and running his fingers through my hair. When the kiss broke we hugged each other tight and he pinched my butt. I punched him in the arm and then I kissed him again. He thinks I will fold and have sex with him before we're married but he's in for a rude awakening…well maybe. I will never say never but… It won't be any time soon. I can only hope Eli is still around when sometime soon finally comes.

Eliza

I ate the cold pizza and chicken from the fridge while I drank chocolate milk. My dad wasn't home yet luckily so he isn't here to notice that I'm high. There was a knock at the door. I answered it and there stood Drew… Adam's brother.

"Hi, Eliza, my brother isn't here is he?"

"No… he's at Fiona's."  
"Are you okay?"

"Oh I'm fine just stoned and hungry."

"Awesome… Well um thanks for your help. I hope you find something to appease your appetite."

"Thanks…"

I went back to the kitchen and continued eating. I started to ponder on something. Drew is kind of cute, and since Fitz only wants to be my friend I should probably move on. Eh, I'm not rushing anything… But it would be nice to have someone to take me on a date to McDonalds… I could so go for one hundred chicken nuggets and a large drink right now. Music to my ears.

Fitz

I finally got enough food in me to make the munchies dissipate. Last time I trust Emo boy with anything. Don't know why I trusted him this time…. After all he did poison me. I guess its water under the bridge. I need more friends than enemies if I'm going to stay out of jail.

While I was drifting off the sleep again, hopefully a dreamless sleep this time, there was a knock at the door. Wish my mom was here to get that but she's working. I went downstairs to see Bianca. She's going to be so pissed she missed the huge high I got today, but she'll live.

"Sup?"

"Dude, where were you?"

"Hanging with Eliza and Emo boy and their circle."

"Oh."  
Bianca sat on my couch. I've never noticed before how hot she is or how nice her body is. I guess I'm just a little more observant than I usually am. She's my friend though and I have no interest in fucking that up, at least I don't think I do.

Adam

Fiona and I were eating caviar and laughing over nothing. That was a fun experience. Drew texted me and asked me where I was. I told him I was at Fiona's and he seemed content until he asked me about Eliza. I guess she must be his new "thing" and who knows; they might be good for each other… After I finished texting Drew, Fiona and I talked.

"Adam, do you think we will last?"

"I think so…"

"That's good because I really like you and my parents do too… though my mother and your mother clash."

"That was totally funny though."

"Yeah it was. I just hope we are together forever."

"You don't even care that…"

"No I don't care that you don't have a penis. With or without it you are the best guy ever!"

"You are so awesome!"

Eli

After Clare and I finished "making out" and she beat me black and blue I took her home and we parted with a kiss. Ah, it hurts so good, but this is what I needed after Julia to get me back into synch with life. So I can't have sex with Clare… That gets inconvenient sometimes but she stimulates my mind and my heart, so that matters less and less as we grow closer. I know one day we will have sex, and it will be awesome, but until then there's no law against thinking about her while I deal with myself.

I walked in the house only to find Eliza being lectured by my father; if she's busted then I'm busted too. He didn't even tell me to sit down, he just motioned….

"So you were smoking too?"

"Yes dad."

"Well kids, I can't say I'm angry at you. I do it to just be responsible and Eli no more fancy lacing…that shared dream shit was fucking nuts."

"Yes sir."

Well I'm off the hook and not in trouble, plus I got to touch Clare's butt (though I got my ass kicked) I'd say tonight was a win and not a loss… I'm looking forward to just living and being responsibility and carefree… Sixteen sure is sweet….especially when you have a girlfriend like mine. Sweet sixteen indeed…

**So did you guys like it? Tell me what you thought about it... Any suggestions for a new Eclare story? Oh... THANKS FOR READING! lol =D**


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